Part5: Strange things at odd times

Sarayu got up with a thud and pushed me aside. I was so weak to even protest, I let go of her. I slept ignoring every freaking thing as if it never happened. My eyes were so heavy, it looked like I took responsibilities of each and every person in the world and I alone worked on their behalf. They refused to listen to me, for a while I ignored whole world and slept. 

I slept for what felt like an eternity, I woke up after a relaxed sleep and moved to kitchen to see if there was food left over for me. Sarayu prepared my favourite ragi balls and daal. Looks like even she didn't touch the food. I am scared now, she is turning out to be wierder day by day,  its time to take her to a doctor.

I took food in a plate and requested her to eat. Better mind your own freaking bussiness Mr.Ashwin was her curt reply. I sighed, I didn't want to spoil my health, I should be atleast strong enough to take care of her. I calmly sat at the couch and started eating.

Sarayu threw back, I-can't-believe-you-are-ignoring-me-and-eating look at me. I gave a weak smile. Surprisingly she waved her hand in the air saying whatever, she moved in to kitchen and got her food, she sat on the mini stool and started eating. I patted myself in mind and it felt like a perfect strategy to make her eat and gain health again.

We sat seperately and ate , with millions of thoughts running in each of us, the TV we were watching just felt like the background for those thoughts.

It was fun watching TV earlier. we have set it up so well, we used to play good old HD quality movies in our 42 inch sony TV which felt like a mini theater. I used to prepare pop corn and masala papad. Sarayu used to cook whichever I liked. Every Saturday night used to be heaven. We cuddle each other and enjoy the show. Half of the times Sarayu dozes off to sleep in the middle, I make her sleep comfortable, cover her with a blanket and reduce volume so that she does not get disturbed, She holds my hand in between and sleeps like a kid.

We are together even now but like 2 startngers in same room under same roof. Nothing else is common. If she really has a problem, can't she tell me? Am I that hard hearted man who does not listen? I drew towards negativity. It is at this time I behave like an idiot. Before I scold her again. I moved out slamming the door hard.

After going out I messaged her, Sarayu...I really love you. Please tell me if I did something wrong, I will definitely correct it, I swear. 

I know she ignores this message like 1000s of my useless messgaes from past few days. I roamed, roamed and roamed aimlessly. It started raining, I didn't mind getting drenched, so I started walking towards nowhere, Thats when suddenly put a hand on my shoulder, little scared I turned back only to see my old friend.

Hey Ashwin, Good to see you man! how are you! where were you all these days, he didn't change even a bit, he is same old Aadarsh who speaks non stop. I said ohh ohh Adarsh give your questions a break, u have not changed a bit. He laughed and we discussed how he suddenly appeared here. 

Adarsh was not actually my friend, we met rather strange. I rarely go to temples. But that day Rajan pulled me inside since it was his birthday and he is big devotee. Feeling bored inside, I looked at Adarsh who was lighting a diva with pure devotion. I could see it in his eyes. I rarely saw guys doing this stuff. So I even smiled at him. He smiled back. I could not sustain my eagerness. I somehow wanted to know what lead him to divinity. He smiled and said if time comes even you will be routed to GOD.

I did not understand it at that moment. Even now I don't understand it. I see Rajan doing prayers but I never noticed that spark in anyone else but Adarsh.

Me and Adarsh met in strangest kind of ways for few more days. He was in touch for few days and disappeared suddenly. Now he comes again. We spoke for longest time. 

It was almost in the mid night I reached home. We have 2 keys. I opened the door with my key and went inside. I opened my phone to save Adarsh number. I had asked him to dial in. Thats when I noticed. Sarayu had replied to my message. I felt like an achiever, my heart beat was faster than usual, if there was any meter to measure it would have blasted at the moment, I was scared to see the message. Finally I gained all strength and read it.All she sent is this

:)

These girls!!!! Only God has super powers to understand them. Here I go I said God.

Later I wondered if it is God who created people, why did he make huge diffrence between men and women, why cant he make them similar atleast in thought process? 2 girsls can easily understand whats going on in their mind and same is the case with 2 boys. Also I noticed boys don't gave a deep thoughts to so many things to which girls over think and make it complicated.

Yours,

Harika.

Go Green...Save Trees:)

Part5: Improbable

Na Aloki, I dont want to look in to it just now. Put your own thoughts, never seek for other's help while you are still writing it. I assure you. I will definetley help you edit and make corrections necessary at the end, said Richard.

Aloki nodded and kept her print out back. It has become practise for her to have a 30 minutes conversation with Richard everyday before her classes begins. Classes are exciting day by day. She didn't leave as soon as her classes are done, she is spending most of the time in library.

Somehow she didn't connect to people and didn't become close friends with any one yet. She felt it strange, She is such type of human where people instantly get connected, atleast thats what she heard all these days from people around her. She only had her room mates as friends now and none in college.

She maintained document in her phone, she writes when ever she gets fresh ideas. Sometimes when she sits to write her mind goes blank. She looks for real life incidents, sometimes even a word from people can inspire her to write.

After giving so much thought she gave up. She was struggling from morning to give name to her new book. Cool down Aloki, you can do it, she said to herself. She went through theme of her book mentally and suddenly it striked  her and she started scribbling in bold letters.

                                      IMPROBABLE

Relieved with the title, she started continuing the story from Ashwin's angle.

I dared to touch Sarayu who was lying on bed, by now I am sure pillow woud be completely wet. I took some tissues and handed it to her, she winced and threw my hand away. After a while, I gathered all my courage and held her in my arms, she didn't oppose, looks like she is calming down. My sinking feeling was moving away, slowly I felt better, I tried looking in to her eyes, to my disappointment she is sleeping.

I caressed her hair, kissed her on forehead and my thoughts rushed back to happy times we had, they seemed to be meant only for us.

Ashwin, its new movie out there, when are we going? called up excited Sarayu. I played with her for a while. Can't you think of the hour? Am lot busy than you and I hung up. I know, now she would have got her lower lip out and made a cute angry face. I visualised her face and smiled. She looks more cute when she does that.

I am equally scared that she may cry. Sarayu cries, like for every goddamn thing. that is one thing which I hate in her, I keep telling her, if there is any problem we will sort out together and never ever cry, I feel like an idiot when she cries, I always end up comparing my love with her parent's love and feel low. I always want to be on top in her view.

So I ended up calling her back in 5 minutes and surprised her that tickets were already booked for night show. Sarayu smiled.

It has become habit for us to watch night shows. We prefer going in bike unless it rains. Sarayu always puts her hand in my jacket while I drive. She says its cold and I love that. For a change she always drives back home. We have a kingdom of dogs which follows us on the way back, I would be scared but she says she can manage and accelrates.

On the way to movie she speaks a lot and I would be listening and vice versa happens. We majorly discuss reviews we had read about the movie and how we actually felt after watching the movie. I noticed, sometimes if movie is so bad that it gave us headache, Sarayu projects the story from her view and how she would have written it if she was the script writer. I suggest some other changes and we feel satisfied with our versions and laugh.

I remember n number of happy times we had. Now I see her silently lying in my lap like a kid. Unaware of everything.

Sarayu have the habbit of waking up late and I have habit of sleeping early. One day it so happened, she was in deep sleep and I was staring at her adorably. She just opened her eyes as if she knew that I was looking, she smiled and asked me why was I staring at her, I made a face and said my wife my wish. She laughed and hugged me. That day we slept hours together peacefully. I wish those days will be back soon.

Dreaming about future I drifted to sleep resting my back to the bed.


Your's
Harika
Go Green...Save trees:)

Part4: Origin

Let your dreams take shape

Give wings to your thougths

Let them fly...to the peace...to the nature...to the lovable world

I tell her these words and she threw up an puzzled expression. I know she would one day understand what I mean. I am married to her from 6 months, everything seems new, everything seems interesting, everything seems crazy, first 4 months flew like anything, we had innumerous happy moments. 

I dont know what's hurting her from past 2 months, she is behaving strange. She does not speak to me much, she rarely even look at me. Trying all means and ways, I failed to understand what's there in her brain. Worst part is she behaves as normal as evryday when there is someone's presence in my home. 

Slowly we are drifting apart, this barrier is bad, like it really sucks. Having her in my life was precious gift ever. I can understand she still cares. Not sure what has happened to her LOVE for me. People say men are rock and they never show feelings, it is true to certain extent, we generally don't show feelings but when it reaches peaks, its hard to hide. I decided to share....with my cousin Rajan.

Hey Rajan can you come down to our spot in 15 mins, I messaged him. Rajan rarely says no. As he replied, he was there on time. Its a hill view restaraunt we genrally go and drink. Hey Ashwin, Rajan greeted me. We ordered 2 chilled beers and settled down. He caught that I was sad within few minutes. 

What's wrong with you bro? asked Rajan. I threw up a smile which pretty much shows up it was forced.  Stop giving stupid smiles and tell me the matter demanded Mr. Rajan. I let out a deep sigh and explained him the situation. He understood that situation was worse than he expected and thought for a while.

Give her some more time and try to convince her, pamper her man, women always like to be pampered. She do expects your presence in her life, you are generally an workaholic ashole, take break and stay with her.

That sounded better to me aswell, next morning I called up my manager, applied one week leave, nothing mattered to me than Sarayu at this moment, I even planned a surprise tickets and gift wrapped them and placed in her cupboard. I peeped in to her room to secretly see her getting surprised, but what she did turned out to be a big shock to me. She tore the tickets angrily and put them in dustbin. That was hard to digest for me. 

I sneaked in to her romm and shouted at her, whats wrong with you Sarayu, have you gone mad??

She didn't even care to respond. She fell on the bed and slept crying. I cursed myself for scolding her, I should not have lost temper. This is not the way to manage, I should find proper solution and bring peace back to my life.

Aloki struggled with her thoughts, she is still in very starting phase of writing a full fledged book, she wondered how authors write such good content maintatining consistency through out the book. She mentally made note to show her starting pages to Richard and seek for corrections, she even thought of explaining the gist of her story to him.

Harika

Go Green....Save Trees:)

Part 3: GOAL

Some how she is liking this, more than anything in the world, the college, the library, books and especially so many achieved personalities moving just before her like any other normal human beings. She was more eager to go to college, that sounds rare though.

The fight with metro appeared better today, since she had one precious day of experience. She directly went to libray since she had 20 mins for her first class to begin. She searched for the librarian to share her thoughts about yesterday and atleast gain 0.0001 th percentage of his knowledge. Looking all over the library for him, Aloki tucked her way back disappointed, there, he appeared at the entrance, Good Morning young lady. Looks like you are punctual exclaimed the old man. 

Aloki's eyes lit up at the sight of him and wished him Good morning with a warm smile. Sir, may I know your name? asked Aloki in polite way. You can call me Richard, I don't like being called as Sir. Since Aloki had handfull of experience calling her team mates by name inspite of their age she didn't see any problem calling him by name. 

She nodded as courtesy. Well, where you looking for me Aloki? Dont get surprised again, I overheard your name too yesterday and he smiled. Aloki laughed alog with him and she explained each and every bit of what she analysed about the stages and how amazing she felt about it later. 

That's the power of books Aloki, they do not let you sleep, they make you retless until you find your answers. But once you have the knowledge, they get the heaven out of you. That pleasure can only be experienced. I am glad you are one of them. Aloki felt blessed.

I think it is time for your class. Good luck for your first class greeted the old man. Aloki nodded and rushed to her class.

Aloki took the middle row which was vacant next ot Adithi. Adhithi waved at her. During the whole day at college she met bunch of new people, it sounded strange when she thought these people whom she never met before would be part of her life from today.

It's her Professor  Hrithika's words which still sounded in her thoughts, They boosted her, they pushed her , they routed her entirely to a goal. It felt like Hrithika digged out a deep secret which was hidden in Aloki from ages. She used her profesor's golden words as starting lines to her BOOK, the wish she held for so long, the wish that's turning out to be true.  

                  Let your dreams take shape
                  Give wings to your thougths
                  Let them fly...to the peace...to the nature...to the lovable world

Your's
Harika Bojanala

Go Green...Save trees:)

Part2: Super natural powers?

Aloki smiled and entered college with a small prayer in her mind. She knew God will answer her prayers. HE never rejected her prayers, they were fulfilled, may be in different forms and timings but they always were!

She asked for the directions for her induction class from some one who seemed to be a senior. She acknowledged her said a thank you and was in her class. She just sat at the random empty one. Next to her was a young kid who looked almost 4 years younger to her, they both exchanged pleasantaries. Hey, this is Aloki, hey this is Adithi!

Soon, everyone stood up in respect to the professor who just enetered the class. Hello everyone I am Raghunandan. Please have your seat. I am glad to see you all  here. I know you are all excited to see what those old guys were up to those years? how they used to communicate? basically you love english, emotion and write up...that is what got you here...agree? asked Raghunandan with a smile. Everyone extended a broad smile and class went on enthusiastically introducing college and course structure for the 2 years, every student had glow in their eyes, they envisaged themselves as future writers/professors/Associates. The class was exciting and communication was bidirectional unlikely Aloki's degree induction class which she felt was boring. The reason might be because most of them chose this, like after  gaining complete senses and exposure to the world, they knew this is what they need, this is what they can live on!

Aloki was astounded by the collection of books in the library.It was a huge library with big strips set up on every corner seperating philosphy/ficiton/non ficition and so on endless geners, She thought a lifetime would not be sufficient to complete them. Every student will be given a login id and initial password soon, you can access the computers which are spread in between to track the book allotment faster explained librarian to bunch of  fresh faces before him. He looked older and strangely composed and calm. 

They dispersed to random directions, books attracted them like magnetic forces. Yay! this would be pleasure, Aloki already felt better joining college after such a long gap. There it is young lady, the book you were searching for, Aloki was startled to know someone speaking to her, she turned around only to see the librarian, hmm, you scared me sir, she told.

Haha! Sorry about scaring you, the book is over there in the 3rd row. Oh ok Thank you sir, she said and moved forward to get a glimpse of the book. It striked to her after a moment, she left the book there and immediately moved to librarian, sir, how did you know i was looking for this book, I didn't even tell you.

Librarian took a deep breath and said "I am sure you will not believe this, I have got powers to read people's mind, If I am not wrong, you are now in stage 4 of reading course. Stage 4 is an interesting phase though, when I was during that stage I was searching for answers for every goddamn thing, your soul just gets excited with the term question! As a part of wanting to find who you are, purpose of your life and meaning of existence, you would tend ro read more books, you would tend to gain more knowledge, don't worry, at the end you would be successful.

Aloki dropped her jaw in surprise! how does he know everything, is it true or is he just playing somekind of random joke. Aloki made a face which portraited every single emotion of what she is going through and her quizacal look made the old man smile, Easy, easy lady! I just made fun. I overheard you speaking about the book with your friend and thought I would help you.

Ohhh! that is it, I really was wondering how you aquired super natural powers! Librarian smiled and left the place.

He moved forward leaving behind strong imprints in Aloki.

It was around when she was 22 she started reading books, she was fascinated by word LOVE, she fell in love with characters of the book, she laughed when they had fun, she was depressed when the character was depressed, she cried with them feeling the pain, she grew up with characters in the book.

Aloki didn't leave single famous book on love, she experienced butterflies in stomach reading them, it was always joyous to see someone happy, like they show in movies happily ever after!

She did get attracted to men, girls do have crush! but nothing lasted more than 10 days. Whether it was hormonal change or the age or the thought process that matters, she started losing interest in love stories, she could not relate herself to them, she just could not feel. She believed there was more to love, she believed there was more to life.

This tickling didn't leave her until she found new interests, strangely, she got attracted to crime, suspense thrillers, power and women in ancient history. She grabbed the knowledge like a pro on history, the power women showed to come out of the circle that had challenged them and restricted to particular fields was enormous, Aloki was simply inspired. She could even imagine how draupadi suggested her husbands in every matter she was aware of and they were glad enough to take her suggestions. Only, if she had known about gambling that was taking place, she would have stopped in the first place and there would not be a war called kurukshetra that caused mass destruction to human life.How she would have struggled to overcome the barriers.

Women at that time with restrictions did achieve so much, she thought to herself she could achieve more and can create miracles since she have so many people patting her back and walking along with her in every part of life. She did learn a lot and that transformed her to a different human being altogether.

After a few years of digging in to past, she was interested about current time, what is she now? why was she even born?what was the purpose of life?

She is currently in the process of finding answers to her endless questions.

After this analysis she was sure she was in stage 3. But he said she was in stage 4. She thought a lot through out her journey to her room, it suddenly striked her, those 22 years she wasted in her mere life with out reading any books other than subjects might come under stage 1 which she missed, if god gives her a chance she runs back to past and read all the comics, mougli adventures, and other things again and again.

That was just awesome, librarian predicted her stage in reading just by the book she chose. Now she knew, every part of him is knowledge, he is like a walking book.



Yours,
Harika.

Go Green...Save trees:)

Part 1: First day of college!

It requires a beautiful heart to think and put your thoughts in to words! Those were the first words Aloki heard from her friend when she first posted in her own blog. she was so excited, she never knew it could lead her to write stories.

She was elated, even at the thought of her writing a blog, when someone posts a comment, it used to make her day. Aloki slowly grew in her blog, a little bigger day by day, She used to come up with different thoughts and feelings. She hates to get negativity in her blog.

She started concentrating more on her blog than her job. After a year or so she understood writing is  all she wanted in her life. She made up her mind to study literature to improve her skills in writing.
She put more efforts, she read more books, she heard many unsaid stories from her own friends, most of all, she believed in humanity.

She struggled in her job 2 more years and saved money for her own education. She finally took a deep breath and clicked on resignation button in her office tool. All memories passed through her mind, the very first day of her job where she had mixed feelings, happy that she is financially independent, happy that she could buy a scooty on her own, delighted that she could buy her mom whatever she asks for. She was a little scared too since it was completely new environment, far away from her parents!

She remembered how she started overcoming her fears and how she started making friends, how she started roaming around, having fun, how she learnt to live on her own.

This job gave me everything, I respect it forever, she thought to herself. It was major decision she had taken in her life, her brother said you have gone nuts to quit a job which is giving you everything, her mom said think twice before quitting, it was her dad  who patted her back and said "You go ahead with your decision, by the way, I am following your blog, when will next story be published", Aloki had tears when she knew her dad was actually following her blog, she casually told them she is in to writing.

She rarely have a deep conversation with her dad but at end of the day they both knew they are there for each other. Sometimes we dont need conversations to built a relationship, just their presence makes much difference.

Aloki wantedly moved to a different city, she wanted a change, she wanted to meet new set of people, she wanted to see different culture. She bid good by to her family and she hugged her friend who was crying.

She reached new city with dreams, aims and imaginations. Everythig attracted her!
She moved in to PG on sharing basis, She was thankful that her roomates were good, she knew how painful it would be if we dont have a good roomate.

They were kind enough to take her through the city and help her buy primary needs. She was glad that she came to this place. Awwww I would be in college the next  morning, she dreamt of her college, she wondered how it would be to join college after 5 years of gap, will she look like a distinctive feature among the students, will she be able to patch up with them, latter she calmed herself down, come on Aloki you are just 29 and not an old grandma, she even remembered a  female aged 55 joining college due to her undestructable love for education,  After a long struggle she went to sleep.

It was Alarm that woke her up in the morning, she was not a fashion freak but she knew how to look presentable and attractive. She gave one final glance in the mirror and said come on Aloki you are all set. Hey Aloki looking great, Good luck for your first day! her roomate wished her, Aloki threw her widest possible smile and thanked her, it's a good sign she told herself!

She was struggling atleast to stand comfortably in the over crowded metro. She was glad she chose a sling bag rather else she should become a super women to get a grip. After a good stretch of 20 mins she was finally out of the metro, She took a deep breath and sighed for the first day struggle.

The college was 10 minutes walk from the metro station. Earlier her grand dad  used to tell that bandits used to cover their face so that only their eyes are visible, though people resist them when they attack, they can't make out their identity. Now all women in the street looked like bandits...in a proffessional way. She understood that there was no other option left out and it was like a protection from damn pollution. She too took her weapon out and transformed to a bandit, she was sure, even her mom would not recognise her in this avtar. She smiled at her very own thoughts.

                                                                   

She finally reached college, Aloki felt at that moment, there should have been someone with her, to tell her, everything will be alright and you will excell here, she cursed herself for not letting her dad to come with her. She closed her eyes, imagined a bright future, good friends and best teachers, she let a smile on her face and finally looked at the college adorably.




Your's
Harika.

Go Green...Save Trees:)

Sometimes it is good to get lost!

Yeah, I should reach there in another 15 minutes, I told to myself. Things appeared to be known, the hoardings I had seen earlier, the shops I kept in my mind, blindly just to remember the way, were passing fast. You are good to go girl! I said to myself. Hurrah I am almost there, I felt like patting my own back.

It was only after 20 minutes of tiresome, yeah, I remember seeing this, ah! no I think its another one, that I realized I lost my way!

I was supposed to pass through the service road and take a right turn but I copletely ignored the service road, like a racer and zoomed on the flyover which led me to an unknown mysterious place which I had never seen.

I stopped my scooty at a side and tried my luck with GPS. One two three...Done, its Gone forever ignoring me like how I ignored the service road, it appeared to me, as if my mobile threw an evil grin and wished me to have fun struggling.

I let go a sigh and kept the phone inside. Thank God, I dont have anyone waiting for me at the other end! Else, they would curse me for the delay through out life. I never knew a small fly over can grab your time just like that.

I enquired with people and found that un fortunately, there was no 'U' turn until next 3 kms to correct my mistake.

I thought ok fine, let me enjoy the ride and started driving forward. I drove around 2.9 kms on an average and started slowing down my vehicle just not to miss the 'U' turn again. 

I was almost near the U turn when I saw this man holding a stick to support his leg and was showing his thumbs up desperately for a lift. He looked old  and tired. I could not ignore and go on.

I finally stopped my scooty and smiled at him. I removed my helmet to make myself audible. I asked him where he wanted to go. He said some place which I was hearing for the first time.

I made a sad face and told him, Uncle, I don't know the route to your place from here, if you can guide me the way, I am sure I can drop you, I uttered.

He gladly accepted and moved forward to sit. I helped him through balance and he was hesitating to ask about his stick. I have excelled driving my scooty by holding so many luggages, I smiled warmly and told him I can put his stick in the front until he gets down. He handed it over to me.

I put the helmet in again and said are you comfortable uncle? shall we go?. He said yes.

Stars were not on my side, I  missed the U turn again since uncle has to sped in different direction. 

We spoke few things on the way. He said he have 3 daughters and he worked as an service man and retired. He told me how important it was for him to reach the place with in 20 mins. 

I did not want him to miss the most memorable moments he would cherish. I nodded my head in agreement and increased the speed a little further but in a safe zone.

We reached the place in 15 minutes. He got down, took his stick back and said "so sweeet of you, you would be my 4 th daughter and I pray God to give blessings to you and your family". I gave the biggest smile of my life and said Thank you so much uncle. 

We both bid our byes and I....started back tracing the path waiting for another U turn!

I knew how important it was for him to be on time, I knew how time matters to a service man, I knew how much her Grand pa's presence for her first dance show on stage would matter to a grand daughter! 

If things like this happens, I feel, sometimes it is good to get lost!

On the way back, I imagined the widest possible smile on the baby girl seeing her Grand pa cheering her while she is performing. |I imagined how cheerful uncle would have been, My heart filled with happiness and pride!

I see so many people stopping their vehicles, inspite of their busy schedule, pick the people and drop them safely. This post is espescially  for you guys and girls! You are much appreciated:)

Yours,

Harika.

Go Green... Save Trees:)