Thursday, 2 October 2014

Chapter 14:Love happens with out effort????:)

I was alone again in the whole world!My brother gave me space to think and left me all alone and went out. Sanjay, I tried recollecting his memories and time we spent together...oops! your brain is currently disordered and it stopped working!! I felt this message when I started thinking.

How much ever I try, I start associating everything with Pramod, if he was here, we would have done it in different way, every minute would have become wonderful, if at all he had not left me like this, by this time, I would have introduced Pramod to my family and they would have been more happy, that I was matured enough to choose a guy and we would have celebrated it in a big way:(:(

"Calm down Sanjana, its all not real, he is not going to come back to your life, don't try to cheat yourself expecting impossible things!' I said to myself. For a minute, I feel strong," I am completely over your thoughts Pramod, you can no longer play with my life, this is my life, I will live it to 100% and you are not remote control to my happiness" I started saying this words loud. That's when my brother came back, he started smiling listening to this words.

You are absolutely on right track, my sweet sister, Just boost up like this, u will soon forget that there was Pramod in your life, saying this he patted my back.

I smiled back at him and yay! we were back to our original brother sister fights for silly things and playing kind of stuff. He stayed till night and he had to leave for an urgent issue in office. Finally he asked me to be strong and he would be visiting me once in a while, and he brought up Sanjay topic again!God!!But what he said was quite relaxing.

Sanju, I know you need time, don't think much about Sanjay too, its all in your hands to build a bright future and peaceful life, the reason I am stressing about him is, I felt he would suit you and you would be safe and happy in his hands. Again, we are not stressing you or something, you just give it a try, if it works out fine, Remember nothing happens with out effort!

I nodded like a small kid to his every word. I bid him Goodbye and gifted him his favorite snickers!he grabbed it, gave me a small hug asked me to take care and left, leaving his brotherlyhood memories and charm with me.

Nothing happens with out effort!! this words echoed in my brain, but Pramod, it just happened to me with out any effort, may be, that is how he didnot stay in my life and  just left me like a passing cloud!My brother missed this point, Love always happens with out effort!

Dear brain, If you shut down for a while, I will happily sleep, I told this to stupid brain so many times, but it did not listen, getting frustrated, I took my phone in to hands, felt like throwing it far away with all my strength. But rather I kept quite, I already lost Pramod, why should I loose anything else just because of him.

I suddenly got urge to show my anger on him, how to show my anger, how to get this frustration out of my head, what do I do?? somehow I was seeing his messages and hit delete by mistake. Surprisingly, I felt little relaxed doing it, I deleted all of his messages one by one, then his pics and finally his number from contact list.

I was still not feeling happy, So I logged in to my Facebook account and blocked him permanently and unfriended him, to which my lips extended broadly, So I started putting away his memories, who knows may be one day as my brother said, I would forget there was Pramod in my life!

I slept peacefully that night and got up and unlocked my screen, it had become practise to see Pramod's pic in my phone every morning! Now he is gone, I recollected what I did day before and felt how stupid I was to do that.

Now, I don't have Pramod in real, Pramod in my pics too:( This mixed feelings made me sick and mad. Atleast to wish something to God, I was not sure on what I wanted!

Somehow I dragged myself to office without anyone's intervention. I was in office and Neha was surprised to see me, but she was still angry I guess, though she was quite eager to come and talk to me, her ego pushed her back, since it was my fault, I went greeted her Good Morning and said sorry for what I did, she is always first to forgive, so she smiled and we both went to cafeteria to speak.

She was happy that my brother was there. She always gets excited when I say something about my brother, I could see it in her eyes. She believes from my words that he is quite good decision maker.I always used to tell her, because of my stupid decisions, he became good in my home;)

Then she too started with same Sanjay thing and asked me to think about it. I was irritated again, just the though of him is making me to think about Pramod, and I hated him more for that.

We went back to work. As usual, I could not concentrate and added to it, I left office in an hour with out informing anyone.This time Courier boy was waiting outside my office, since he saw me comming down to hand over the letter from Mr. Sanjay

God!!I didn't wanted to create one more scene in office, I just stared at the boy and took the letter seriously and left the place.

The pack was even more colorful, God, it had a childhood pic of me and sanjay holding hands and posing for photograph, for a second I smiled seeing it and remembered that moment, our parents made us get ready especially to take us to studio and we both were like very much excited with our new dresses and yeah it was Sanjay's Bday that day, I suddenly remembered the day and it is today. I guess he is quite smart in thinking now. He just sent his mobile number in letter today. If it was someone else in my place, they would have definitely fallen for his ideas and the effort he was taking to hold a special place in girl's heart. "EFFORT", it felt strange that I was saying this words by myself.

I was not that cruel to disappoint some one on their Birthday. So, I just took my phone and texted him

Happy Birthday Sanjay:)

and yeah nothing else. I didnt wanted to throw wrong directions to him, that I was interested in talking to him and all.

Next morning, I would message him that I  seriously have no ideas to hang around with him and tell him to have a bright future with someone else and live happily, I made up my mind strongly and hit enter and the message reached him in a second.

After this I put my phone in silent and dumped in to handbag, expecting a call from office, I lost interest in everything.

They got a medium, very fast medium to communicate now, how did Sanjay react to her message, did he call her?

Check it out next week

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...Save Trees

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