Sunday, 30 November 2014

Chapter 18:Together Forever:)

Time has power to heal...yes, I accepted this truth and my life is perfect example for proof. It is Sanjay, who made me realize that I do not have to torture myself for someone else's faults.This words he had once told me, still act as mantra during my tough times

Sanju, "Life is how you take it and respond to situations, make it the best! Replace all negativity with happy minutes and you will feel heaven!, not only he said this words, he installed happiness capsules with his presence"

With Sanjay, I was not excited for anything initially, I was under assumption that I would never get close to anyone after Pramod. If I had fallen so much for something which is unreal, how would it be if it is true love.

I am always thankful to God that I eventually found true love in my life. The more I tried to move away from Sanjay, the more he became close to me. Since I was fired out of job, my credit card bills piled up and I could not pay a rupee. All sources of income got shut down and I was forced to work back to clear this debts first, I still had that self respect not to ask someone to clear my debts on behalf of me.

I always had the zeal to work in creative field, thank God my multimedia course which I did through distance education while I was working helped me. I started my career back as a fresher, but in add agency.

This new challenging career diverted my thoughts to certain extent.But I still was over weight and more obsessed with food.

Me and Sanjay, used to meet once in a while and we started understanding each other. He was glad that I chose different career altogether and I was growing slowly in it. Fort night meetings slowly turned out to meetings twice in a week.

It turned out to be like my happiness was not happiness until I shared it with Sanjay. It was same with him. There were no secrets, no egos between us, we did not try to impress each other and we were just us and still we liked each other. I was not sure whether it was LOVE. But Sanjay kept on insisting that it was LOVE.

I was not ready to name that relationship with Sanjay as LOVE and spoil so called sweet time I was having with him. Almost after one year of my work in the new company brought me back my confidence, independence and zeal to work more and earn more.

I started looking out to seek more challenging roles and Sanjay offered me a position in his company with good pay, he also mentioned that he was not giving it just like that and I had to undergo whole recruitment process just like others who came to interview, I was more than happy with the way he separated work from personal life. I cleared all the rounds and was through.

Well, I was in Sanjay's office. It was kind of strange, happy and weird at a time to me.Sanjay came personally to my cabin and introduced me to my new team and explained the process briefly.It was a nice day. After the induction program, Sanjay winked at me while handling the bank application form to fill in my details to open new salary account. I smiled at him and thanked him for everything. He said it's all your hard work.

We drove back together that day and in car Sanjay asked me for a treat and I gladly said an YES. He put a condition that he would select the place and while driving, all the way I was talking, talking and continuously talking until Sanjay said that we reached the restaurant. I nodded at him in acceptance and smiled at him. He was surprised to see me talking so much.

I got down and realized that it was same garden restaurant in which we met each other first time. It brought me back the memories of my rude behavior and how I ruined that day. I felt sorry for Sanjay. I wanted to make this day the best day to him and when we come back to this restaurant we should remember the happy time and not the other one.

I looked at him and he asked me if I was comfortable with this place or we should drive back to other one. I was like, Yes, Yes I am comfortable Sanjay. His lips widened and suddenly he moved forward and bent down just as sign of inviting me inside, I laughed at his gesture and moved forward and held his hand and started walking. I myself was surprised when I held his hand. May be I was accepting him in my life, may be I started liking him a lot, may be I am in Love all over again.

Sanjay was like a kid, I could just see it in his eyes. He was very happy. We went and picked up the same table and he passed the menu card to me saying that it's my day. I ordered half of his favorite dishes and half mine. We spoke and stayed there till the waiters gave awkward looks at us. I signaled  Sanjay that it's already late and asked him to look at the waiter laughing.

After some time we finally stood up and Sanjay bought smile in waiter's face by giving huge amount as a tip, he saluted and thanked him and asked us to have nice time. we walked back till the car. I insisted that I will drive that day, I generally fight like this, only with my dad and brother. Sanjay had also become someone special in my life. I started driving back and Sanjay sat beside me telling stories and making me laugh. He suddenly asked me to stop the car. I did as he said and looked at him confused. He took my hands in to his and asked will you stay like this forever?

I was in tears, he is just asking me to be happy.I moved forward hugged him for a while and whispered, Yes, I will. Sanjay hugged me even tighter and kissed me on my forehead. He slowly planted a kiss on my lips. It was soon intense.

We drove back to home. Though it was late night and cold outside, Sanjay dropped me home and went back to his home. I dropped him a message this time,

Never knew, I was in LOVE with you,

Never knew, I would miss you,

Never knew, you would become so special in my life

I LOVE YOU SANJAY.

Muaaahhh:)
sanjana.

I guess Sanjay was still driving , I didnt get a reply fast. With every passing minute I got tensed more, expecting how Sanjay's reply would be, after 10 minutes, my mobile started flashing with series of messages. All of them were from Sanjay,

Never knew, you would say this magical words in my life,

Never knew, I would go through this amazing phase in my life.

My life is complete with your presence,

You have no idea, how happy I am today.

Can't wait to be back in your hugs.

Lots of Loveee,
Sanjay.

After 2 days, there were knocks at my door and I rushed to open the door and it was, oh my God, Mom Dad and my brother. I just jumped around seeing my family after a long time. They were all looking at me mysteriously and smiling. It was me and Sanjay, worked out together how to break the news to my family, I was too shy to discuss this matters with my parents, so we both went ahead with my brother and he made all this possible.

We, finally got married dhoom dhaam se. My friends, were back and we had maximum possible fun.
Me and Sanjay started working on developing our company together. Big news is that Neha and my sweet brother are in relationship. I was in cloud nine when I heard the news from them.

Our gang, me, Sanjay, Neha, Sanchit was extended with my brother Samrudh. Whenever we plan a trip I used to remember Pramod.If a girl gets hurt more than intended, sooner or latter it will definitely turn out to be HATRED, yes, I was hating Pramod to peeks, deleting his contacts, emails, conversations was not enough for me. I deeply needed something to hurt him back to satisfy my ego.

It so happened that one day , I got a phone call from an unknown number and I picked it up and there was someone laughing out loud and someone calling Hey Pramod, I clearly understood it was a dial by mistake and it was Mr.Pramod. I cut the call almost instantly and Sanjay noticed sudden change in me and and asked me who was that in the call. I told him it was Pramod with anger, Sanjay gave a smile and said...Sanju see, If I am correct, one day Pramod would realize all his faults and will call you back and apologize for everything he had done to you, saying it he added back his contact in my phone.

It was Sanjay, who calmed me down and make me forget Pramod completely.Though I have him in my memories till date, it requires some instant to probe me to remember him, like today's phone call which took me back to flood of memories.

I resumed my sleep, but got a call again. It displayed Pramod's name again. I picked it up and said a Hi again. I am sorry Sanjana, for whatever I have done to you, for making you lose trust in people, I realized my mistakes, God has given me proper punishment for playing around with people like you. I really felt sad after listening to his words. I asked him to calm down, and asked him what went wrong.

He said he is in Banglore and asked me if he could meet me next day. I said I would meet him next day and asked him to be cool and cut the call. I was feeling restless, I did not know how to respond, I called up Sanjay and told him every thing in detail.Sanjay asked me to meet him next day and asked me to help Pramod if he needs anything. I feel better after talking to Sanjay. I wish he is here so that we can go together and meet Pramod.

Pramod, he looked very pale and lost all his charm, he had lost lots of weight and looked like a patient. He gave a brief smile and I half smiled not knowing how to respond. we met in coffee day and he ordered my favorite stuff.  I was like, you still remember this Pramod?
He smiled his natural smile and nodded.

Me: Now, tell me what's wrong? why are you meeting me after long time?

Pramod: I played with so many people know, so this time for a change, God, played around with me,

Me: Hmm, Dont be so diplomatic. Everything will have a solution

Pramod: After reaching Mumbai, I got in to a new company and you knew it

Me: yeah!

Pramod: I made a women fall for me there and tried to reach higher position in illegal ways. She somehow got to know whole story about me and gave a complaint to higher authorities and they terminated me from my job and sent me to prison for a year. I was under assumption that my intelligence would work and I can escape from such stuff so easily, all the contacts whom I had once thought that would help me, just did not respond to me and no one were even ready to see my face even after I was released. During that year in prison, I realized what all sins I have committed, how people feel when they are cheated and I personally wanted to meet people and request for forgiveness.

Me(I really felt sorry for his position): Hmm, well, Past is Past Pramod, you start a new life with new dreams and aims. Error is human. So, start leading a new life.

Pramod: Please say that you forgive me.

Me: If I had held grudges on you, I would not have come to meet you , so, I forgave you long back.

Pramod: Smiling at me said a thank you.

Me: Is there anything that I should do that would help you?

Pramod: I am very happy Sanjana, even after getting so much hurt, you are offering me a help.

Me: Well, that's what Sanjay taught me:)

Pramod: Cool. I will take your leave now, I will meet you guys after a year or so completely transforming to a good human being and doing good things.

Me(I guess Pramod changed really, and I was very happy for that): Wish you Good luck Pramod. I will be glad when you are in a good position.

He bid a goodbye and left the place.

I drove back to my home, called up Sanjay and informed him everything, he said he is proud of me:)

After 2 days:

There was knock on the door, I ran fast expecting Sanjay. As soon as I opened the door it was Sanjay smiling, he got in, hugged me and said I miss you, I whispered in his ears "I miss you too"

This continues forever:):)


I dedicate this story to my Mom, Amrutha  and Dad, Ranga, because of whom, I learnt the meaning of Love.

To my brother, Chandu, most of the brother related lines in this story are our conversations:)

To Santhosh,  when you said, you would encourage me writing stories and when you respected my thoughts, it meant a lot to me:)


I  feel thankful to God for making me have this 2 wonderful people in my life, Shwetha and Archana, I always wonder how my life would be, If I had not met you people:)

Also, I heart fully thank my friends, Harika, Swathi, Reddy, Poornima and Archana for following up the story till end, though I missed posting it many times.

Finally I end with apologies for not staying in touch with you guys every week and  for being irregular in posting episodes.

I will be back with few short stories in a while:)

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...Save Trees












 















Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Chapter 17: The other version

Wheels started rotating forward and the auto sped up as fast as tears that poured down from my eyes. If one person cheats me may be that was his problem to understand me properly, if same thing happens with everyone...I just could not take it any more. I turned violent, I just wanted to exit this world and enter in to a new world where there is no place for hatred, deception and vengeance.

Sanjay kept on calling me whole way till I reached my home. I slid the door open and fell down, just like how I did when Pramod didn't turn up that day, but today there is a difference, how much I waited for Promod's presence that day, I am hating Sanjay's presence more than that.

I was brought back to real world, someone were knocking hard on the door, hmm it was Sanjay. I banged the door so hard, that he would get irritated and leave,but he did not do that, instead he sat in corridor, I didn wanted to create big scene in my home too,So I let him in.

"Sanju, please listen to me, just give me 10 minutes to speak, even after that if you don't like to listen to me, I will never ever disturb you in my life and it is a promise!", Mr.Sanjay blurted out. After wasting so much time on so many people I felt good that he asked me only for 10 minutes of time. So, I gladly accepted and it went beyond an hour.

Sanju, I first saw you in Bangalore, in your office, when your company chief had called me regarding an add, that was it, I was taken away to a special world as soon as I saw you, still, it was the first impression for me about you, I wanted it to be very special to you, that's how I tried so many ways and approached you with letters and finally we met today, and I know it's the worst impression to you on me.

As soon as I liked you, I approached your brother and he was very happy about it and was excited to tell you, it's me who stopped them and asked them for some time.

I thought it was all going fine, until I came to know about Pramod's presence in your life.

I made my ears more straight to listen to his words with the mention of Pramod's name.

Sanjay observed change in the expression in my face but ignored it and went on with his words which made me clueless how he was

Pramod, well, I got to know that you and Pramod were in a relationship but you guys broke up recently. (hmm so Sanjay doesn't know about it before)

How shocked your brother was when you told him about Pramod, it was more in mine when your brother told me about your relationship.

But I was really worried that you have gone crazy about him and I know how it feels when someone meant your life and if they ruin each of your dream and disappear from it.

Trust me, I really am not that cheap to drag someone to love me who is already in a relationship. I shut down all my thoughts about you with lots of effort and tried to make you happy again by getting Pramod back in to your life. But, he really is sick Sanju, he is big time flirt and never cares for women's feelings and you would never be happy even if he is back in to your life.

With this he finished speaking. I kept on staring him with out saying a word. He watched me for a while, and could not bear it anymore.

YOUR SILENCE KILLS ME SANJU, Please say something.

Hmm, I can't trust anyone Mr.Sanjay, but I can say sorry for my rude behavior in the restaurant. 

Sanjay's eyes lit up just with my simple words. He spoke with me some more time, finally made me smile and left. I thanked him for the day and bid him Goodbye, but not forever:))

A message popped up in my phone, it was one of the best days in my life, had wonderful day with you, I could see your happiness, anger, forgiveness and most of all a kid in you just in the first official meet after me falling in LOVE with you...Thank you Sanju.

Love,
Sanjay.

Before I could respond, one more message popped up from Sanjay, Give time for everything..even me;) Time has power to heal.

I sent back a smiley and called up my brother and informed him every single minute in detail.


All misunderstandings were cleared with just one conversations.

What next??

Follow me next week
Harika Bojanala:)

Go green...Save trees

 





Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Chapter 16: Goodbye Forever!

Three months...they just passed on very peacefully, with out much harm to me, except that my friends stopped talking to me, stopped coming to my place since I didn't let them in, I was fired out from my job and I got confirmation letter of the same. Thanks to credit card..I survived only because of it in the last month.

After seeing Pramod cheat me so badly inspite of putting my 100% on him, me getting fired, loosing friends, putting on weight seemed small things to me. I got over Pramod completely, may be in different version, like I don't remember him much now, I don't try to draft emails anymore, I simply stopped him from intruding in my life.

Exactly me and Sanjay finished our deadline of 3 months and it was time for me to make things clear to Mr. Sanjay!

I was just surprised to see a letter and appreciated his timings. God, he is crazy!

Here it goes...As if he read my mind, this time chocolates were Diary milk silk and snickers which I made as routine to eat them while watching TV shows.

Sanju,

I have seen you, while we both were kids, while we used to stand for each other when someone fights with us, while you used to kiss me innocently on my cheeks when I got you some thing.

After long long time, I was just mesmerized when I first saw you in Banglore, I was there, exactly in your office(you wonder when and how...well, everything will be answered while we meet personally), and you were perfect meaning of beauty.

(I was grinning at the mention of the word beauty-he would no longer like me)

Right from the day I met you, my world was completely filled by your presence, I figured out so many ways to impress you...as soon as I thought about word impress...first thing that striked my mind was LOOKS, latter came the personality and all others. I didn't wanted my LOVE to be like every others..it should be as pure as Mother's love. So I never met you....I just wanted to let you know who I am and how I think through my words..and what else can convey person's feelings as good as a letter...So I chose to send you letters.

I hope you liked me..I mean by what ever you understood me until now.

Much excited to meet you.

Lots of Love,
Sanjay.

Hmm...I let out a deep sigh...God, I am still not sure how this guy would respond after seeing me...looks like he is somewhat different from others and God Knows what all he is saying!Whatever it is, I will meet him and tell him my version.

It was all set, I just bathed, turned in to my loosest outfit earlier which have become tight now,  I made it fit with lots of difficulty, I slept so much all these days because of heavy food I guess, my eyes were swollen first time in months with peaceful sleep rather than sleepless nights.

He just called me and informed me the place where I should reach, he insisted on him picking me from my home, I rudely said a NO.

I was picturing how he would be now, after 15 years of gap might be. He was tall but little plump when he was a kid, I started imagining him as overgrown kid, which sounded funny to myself. I could see someone sitting at table 5, which was reserved by Mr. Sanjay. The image happened to be clearer as I reached nearer. Oh my God, he was Handsome, he was no more a overgrown kid. He was 6 feet tall, tanned but fairer skin, completely, he was pleasant and decent looking.

He waved at me from far as soon  as he caught sight of me, I waved him back in response.I just reached the table and he smiled immediately and said Hi Sanju, I smiled back at him and said him a Hi back.

We both occupied our seats, it was a garden restaurant, all surroundings were GREEN, they have arranged small chairs and tables in between, creating a beautiful path. Rather then usual Ac restaurants, we were breathing fresh air in the garden, I could not stop complementing him for the selection , "Nice taste", I told him looking all around with ease.

Thank you Sanju..I am happy you liked it. He asked me if he had changed anything from last time I saw him, yes man, you have become more awesome, I told to myself but I just told him "obviously, yes, all of us will change."

He did not expect that answer I guess, I could see it in his eyes. That is all I wanted, I just want to move out of his heart and wipe away all feelings if at all he had any. He recovered soon and initiated one more conversation, mean while he ordered Manchow soup and asked me if I was fine with it.

I just started of with my points, which are all I had planned to tell him,

Sanjay, I am sorry to say this, I generally don't like to hurt people by any means,  I am just not in any plan to mary you. I am really sorry for everything.

His face was plain, no expression, I had imagined so much.

He smiled...God I could not take this, I have told him something very serious and he still smiles.

He started off like this

well, Sanju, I guessed your answer would be a NO, I was all prepared for this, that's how I did not react much, when you said this. I just want to clarify one thing, are you saying NO to me just because of Pramod, if that is the reason, just FORGET him, he is sick.

I was dumb struck and shocked to know that he knew about Pramod in my life. I felt betrayed, he knew everything, still he sent me letters when I was still in relationship with Pramod.

I yelled at him, he is not, you are sick Mr.sanjay. Good bye forever! Never ever try to meet me again. I said Good bye!I just left the place and got in to an auto.


Did really Sanjay played with Sanjana while he knew all about their relationship? did he play any role in spoiling their relationship?

Follow me next week

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...save trees
















Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Chapter 15:Mission

As I reached home, I forgot about my phone, accidentally, I saw an Diary milk silk stuck in my fridge, I picked it up and finished whole of it at one shot, I never knew what it was, anger, happy or sad. I generally eat 2 bytes of it and not more than that with fear of my diet getting disturbed.

Strangely the chocolate gave me relief, now I have an idea, I will eat more, turn out shapeless and this so called Sanjay will reject me after seeing me. wow, Sanjana, what a brilliant you are, I said to myself. At that moment I was not aware of after effects of putting on weight.

I opened my hand bag to pick out face wash then I remembered I had put my phone in silent. I checked notifications and saw 20 missed calls and 3 new messages. Missed calls, 15 were from office, I knew there was something wrong with work but who cares already my life is screwed up, work, no longer mattered to me.

3 calls where from Sanjay. 1 was from Neha and other was from my brother. I put phone back in volume mode and called my brother. Spoke to him for a while and hung up. Instead of telling him my sad story, I will make Sanjay himself to say no to me. That was a mission for me, I went to nearest store picked up all variety of fatty foods, ordered pizzas and whichever can help me put on weight fast.Mr.Sanjay get ready to see fatty ugly Sanjana.

That had become my routine to eat more and more food and no workout and skip office and not picking calls of anyone.In this process, I hardly remembered Pramod. I was enjoying this new lonely life, in which ruler, people followers everything is me, which does not have someone to cheat me.

After 5 days in this process, I received courier directly to home. Awe! this guy is disgusting, I thought to myself. It was a letter from Sanjay, and chocolates, woww, now I was happy seeing chocolates and grabbed them first instead of letter;)

While eating chocolate I opened letter to read, here it goes,

Thank you sooo much for Birthday wishes, It was overwhelming for me, that you remembered my birthday with out me saying it. Anyways, can I talk to you, I mean through phone?

Sanjay

Though I didn't bother about his letters, it did feel little different when he didn't mention lots of love or something like that. My system just got used to his words and expected the same this time too.
I should meet him in another 2 months after achieving my mission, till that time I want everything to be shut, like his messages, letters, phone calls and everything.To make that happen, I should call him and give him valid reason to stop everything for 2 months.

I did background work for it till evening and called him at around 5 P.M. Tring tring...I was little tensed, it went as a long ring,but he didn't pick, I was irritated, he did not pick Sanjana's call..unknowingly I demanded his attention, I had built up my mind that he have special place for me and he gives high priority to me.

I guess after an hour, I got a call from Mr.Sanjay. I picked it up after 40 seconds of ring, I didn't wanted to sound desperate for his call. I picked it up and there it went flow of words, Thank God, Sanjana you called me, I am very happy he was still saying something, how can someone speak like this even after around 15 years of gap, I was like my mouth wide open for his closeness in first meeting.

I think after 1 minute he gave a pause for breath and then I said a plain Hello Sanjay, how are you?
He said he was fine and it went on like this

Sanjay: I am good. How about you? Did you get angry on me for my letters?
Me(Did not expect so many questions):hmm, na, nothing like that
Sanjay: Then you very happy with them right, great
Me: no, no, I mean, I didnot have any feeling
Sanjay(disappointed I guess): ohhhkay, do you like, really remember me Sanjana?
Me: Yeah, ofcourse, I do remember, you were my only friend at that time
Sanjay: Laugh..:)). So you are working in a reputed company and living independently, am proud of you
Me(who is he to feel proud of me): hmm Thank you, where are you now?
Sanjay: I am in Banglore, owning an add agency.
Me: So you sent me letters staying in same place, right?
Sanjay: Yeah, I believe letters convey original feelings and I spend a lot of time to write perfectly, at this process I end up thinking more and more about you.
Me(OMG...I should hung up phone soon):hmm, I need to tell you something important
Sanjay: yes, tell me any time for you,
Me: Don't get excited, it is nothing like what you expected me to say
Sanjay: that's okay I can digest facts
Me: I need some time to figure out myself, please don't disturb me till then with phone calls, letters or messages
Sanjay:okay, till when?
Me(will he not have any reaction I just said something which I though would completely make him sad): hmm, around 3 months
Sanjay: Sure, its a deal, I will not.
Me: Thank you so much
Sanjay:Nice talking to you Snaju, after long time..take care...Bye and he hung up

Sanju, awww...he used to call me Sanju when we were kids, I remembered everything, that sweetness, innocence, how we used to fight for candies, how we used stay together when some one fought with one of us during games.After a long time, a genuine smile passed through my face.

I felt very relaxed after Sanjay accepted that he would not contact me by any means for 3 months.
3 months...I have ample time to put on weight and look as ugly as possible.

So sanjana is on a mission, and who knows Sanjay might also be in other mission to meet her after 3 months?

Follow me..next week

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...Save trees





Thursday, 2 October 2014

Chapter 14:Love happens with out effort????:)

I was alone again in the whole world!My brother gave me space to think and left me all alone and went out. Sanjay, I tried recollecting his memories and time we spent together...oops! your brain is currently disordered and it stopped working!! I felt this message when I started thinking.

How much ever I try, I start associating everything with Pramod, if he was here, we would have done it in different way, every minute would have become wonderful, if at all he had not left me like this, by this time, I would have introduced Pramod to my family and they would have been more happy, that I was matured enough to choose a guy and we would have celebrated it in a big way:(:(

"Calm down Sanjana, its all not real, he is not going to come back to your life, don't try to cheat yourself expecting impossible things!' I said to myself. For a minute, I feel strong," I am completely over your thoughts Pramod, you can no longer play with my life, this is my life, I will live it to 100% and you are not remote control to my happiness" I started saying this words loud. That's when my brother came back, he started smiling listening to this words.

You are absolutely on right track, my sweet sister, Just boost up like this, u will soon forget that there was Pramod in your life, saying this he patted my back.

I smiled back at him and yay! we were back to our original brother sister fights for silly things and playing kind of stuff. He stayed till night and he had to leave for an urgent issue in office. Finally he asked me to be strong and he would be visiting me once in a while, and he brought up Sanjay topic again!God!!But what he said was quite relaxing.

Sanju, I know you need time, don't think much about Sanjay too, its all in your hands to build a bright future and peaceful life, the reason I am stressing about him is, I felt he would suit you and you would be safe and happy in his hands. Again, we are not stressing you or something, you just give it a try, if it works out fine, Remember nothing happens with out effort!

I nodded like a small kid to his every word. I bid him Goodbye and gifted him his favorite snickers!he grabbed it, gave me a small hug asked me to take care and left, leaving his brotherlyhood memories and charm with me.

Nothing happens with out effort!! this words echoed in my brain, but Pramod, it just happened to me with out any effort, may be, that is how he didnot stay in my life and  just left me like a passing cloud!My brother missed this point, Love always happens with out effort!

Dear brain, If you shut down for a while, I will happily sleep, I told this to stupid brain so many times, but it did not listen, getting frustrated, I took my phone in to hands, felt like throwing it far away with all my strength. But rather I kept quite, I already lost Pramod, why should I loose anything else just because of him.

I suddenly got urge to show my anger on him, how to show my anger, how to get this frustration out of my head, what do I do?? somehow I was seeing his messages and hit delete by mistake. Surprisingly, I felt little relaxed doing it, I deleted all of his messages one by one, then his pics and finally his number from contact list.

I was still not feeling happy, So I logged in to my Facebook account and blocked him permanently and unfriended him, to which my lips extended broadly, So I started putting away his memories, who knows may be one day as my brother said, I would forget there was Pramod in my life!

I slept peacefully that night and got up and unlocked my screen, it had become practise to see Pramod's pic in my phone every morning! Now he is gone, I recollected what I did day before and felt how stupid I was to do that.

Now, I don't have Pramod in real, Pramod in my pics too:( This mixed feelings made me sick and mad. Atleast to wish something to God, I was not sure on what I wanted!

Somehow I dragged myself to office without anyone's intervention. I was in office and Neha was surprised to see me, but she was still angry I guess, though she was quite eager to come and talk to me, her ego pushed her back, since it was my fault, I went greeted her Good Morning and said sorry for what I did, she is always first to forgive, so she smiled and we both went to cafeteria to speak.

She was happy that my brother was there. She always gets excited when I say something about my brother, I could see it in her eyes. She believes from my words that he is quite good decision maker.I always used to tell her, because of my stupid decisions, he became good in my home;)

Then she too started with same Sanjay thing and asked me to think about it. I was irritated again, just the though of him is making me to think about Pramod, and I hated him more for that.

We went back to work. As usual, I could not concentrate and added to it, I left office in an hour with out informing anyone.This time Courier boy was waiting outside my office, since he saw me comming down to hand over the letter from Mr. Sanjay

God!!I didn't wanted to create one more scene in office, I just stared at the boy and took the letter seriously and left the place.

The pack was even more colorful, God, it had a childhood pic of me and sanjay holding hands and posing for photograph, for a second I smiled seeing it and remembered that moment, our parents made us get ready especially to take us to studio and we both were like very much excited with our new dresses and yeah it was Sanjay's Bday that day, I suddenly remembered the day and it is today. I guess he is quite smart in thinking now. He just sent his mobile number in letter today. If it was someone else in my place, they would have definitely fallen for his ideas and the effort he was taking to hold a special place in girl's heart. "EFFORT", it felt strange that I was saying this words by myself.

I was not that cruel to disappoint some one on their Birthday. So, I just took my phone and texted him

Happy Birthday Sanjay:)

and yeah nothing else. I didnt wanted to throw wrong directions to him, that I was interested in talking to him and all.

Next morning, I would message him that I  seriously have no ideas to hang around with him and tell him to have a bright future with someone else and live happily, I made up my mind strongly and hit enter and the message reached him in a second.

After this I put my phone in silent and dumped in to handbag, expecting a call from office, I lost interest in everything.


They got a medium, very fast medium to communicate now, how did Sanjay react to her message, did he call her?

Check it out next week

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...Save Trees
 

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Chapter13:Secret Revealed.

I was in deep thoughts, not knowing about this new entry in my life. I am already screwed up to maximum extent. How much else God wants to play with me. I just felt sick thinking about Sanjay. It got tuned, as though, my brain works only for Pramod.

Neha was grinning seeing the letter, she felt happy that some thing good is about to happen in my life. I literally had no energy to think about anything else, I was not that mentally strong.I just made the letter in to pieces in frustration and showed my anger throwing hard in to dustbin. Finally, I felt relieved, it was as if throwing the letter away, made me feel like I deleted this so called 'Sanjay' from my life.

Neha was staring at me, seeing me behave 'violent'. This was completely new to her, this angle in me was new to myself, no wonder that she stared at me. I, lost all courtesies and  directly asked her to leave. She couldn't with stand my behavior any more and just left the place with out saying any word.

I am back, to my lonely, dumb, depressive world, no one is there in it to push me up, no one disturbs me there, no one irritates me to work, and yeah there wont be any one to tell me 'I LOVE YOU' sweetly. God!!I miss him, I cried uncontrollably, my tears stopped, but it turned out more painful. I didn't know when I slept.

There was knock on the door, it was so irritating, after crying so much my eyes became small, I could not open them and didn't want open though. I was just not ready to see this world and live in it, where true love became rare and cheating became habit and people started playing with hearts.

I thought if I dont open door they will knock for some more time, get frustrated and leave, but it didnt stop and yeah my mobile too started ringing loudly...hmm I had to push myself now. I hit end call and went to open the door.

To my surprise, it was my brother!!! for a minute I forgot what ever had happened to me, I was so excited and gave a small hug to him and bent down to take his luggage. He, as usual stopped me and took his luggae by himself and got inside the apartment.

I asked him about Dad and Mom, he smiled mischievously,  if it was in normal days I would have understood his plan, but now, I failed, like, very badly.

I did not show up any expressions, I made my face plain, then I asked him to fresh up and went to kitchen to prepare food. When I was about to come out he came in to kitchen, and asked me whats wrong sanju? you seem to be bothered about some thing and you look pale.

Hmm, nothing man, I am just tired, that is it, just one day rest, I will be back to track, I said and winked at him. Though he smiled, he understood my ACTING and he got to know that I was hiding something.

Then we spoke, spoke and spoke and recalled every childhood memory and laughed untill my mouth pained with happiness.  Then he suddenly started, Sanjana, you remember Sanjay?

I was in deep shock when I heard Sanjay's name from my brother, this stranger is playing a big role in my life with out my involvement , I said to myself. I didnt respond to my brother. Then I understood, Sanjay, might have approached my parents and brother for match and everything happened like this. God!!!it was too much to take in. I was mentally calculating ways to escape from this and reasons to give them.

Since I was dumbstruck and did not respond to him, he asked me again to answer. That's when I replied, no I don't remember him. My brother was disappointed, I generally love people, like, I dont want to disappoint anyone, even If I dont know something, I used to ask my brother clues and try to answer his questions. He did not expect a blunt NO from me.

Then he went on, Sanjay, was your calss mate,  I guess when you were 5th standard, you both used to play for a while, later you changed your school and lost touch with him. After my brother told this, small rays of memory passed through. Hmm I guess I remember him now, like, very little.

My brother was happy to hear, that I remember Sanjay. He told me then, Sanjay got to know about me through one of our common friends and he started liking me, he approached his parents and they approached mine and my Mom and Dad were like if I am okay with it, they dont have any objection with it. He pleaded my parents not to tell anything to me until he says and suddenly he called my brother yesterday and asked him to inform me about everything.

Ridiculous, I just said this to my brother, he was angry now! whats wrong Sanju, you are behaving strange today, tell me what made you behave like this, he raised his voice and I started crying. I know, he hates to see me crying so I tried hard and stopped it in a while. I always used to cry for everything until teens, every small incident, tears rolls down, just like that. He, one day, took me out, and told me this...very precious words I had learnt from him

Your tears are so valuable, never waste them for silly reasons and never ever cry for wrong people, stay strong and be happy

Such simple yet meaningful lines, they taught me life lessons! that was the final day I cried for silly things, but now I realized, may be I was wasting time for wrong person!may be Pramod is not destined for me.

Even that thought made me shiver!I was literally trembling. He made me sit, and calmed me down,got some water and asked me the reason slowly, I told him every single thing happened with me and Pramod. He was really shocked and he asked me at any point, didnt u feel like telling us? do you think we wont support you at you worst moments?

I was already feeling guilty and his words made me feel more, so with this people, I hided everything, and yeah, it was true I didn't reach out to them at my worst time, though worst time still continues. But it was not that, I felt like, they will not support me, it was just that I didn wanted them also to get hurt and go through this pain with me. I did not wanted anyone else to feel bad for me, already my friends are doing that and going through this. I told my brother same thing.

He sighed and said do however you wish and he went out, because he was angry, he knew that he stays for some more time, he will raise his voice again and he really didnot wanted to scold me now and see me crying again! Such a sweet brother!


Did her brother convince Sanjana about Sanjay, did he make her move further in relationship?

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Harika Bojanala:)
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Saturday, 6 September 2014

Chapter12: Broken Heart:(

After knowing Pramod does not care for me any more, First lonely morning with out Pramod's message was so sad, it did not make me feel good, the more I tried to send him out of my thoughts, the more he intruded in every minute of my life.

I hided all my feelings, saying myself I was strong enough to handle things on my own, I could not bare it at least till night, I cried, cried and cried until my pillow became wet, until my eyes get swollen, until tears get dried and until I no longer can let one drop out of my eyes.

I stay awake whole night thinking of him, the wonderful time I had with him, there comes the sweet incidents first and hard things follow next reminding me of my last meeting with Pramod in Mumbai, completely taking smile out of my face.

The words he had spoken to me last time, may be just English letters for him,but for me, they are not just words, they are feelings that disturbed me deep down from my heart, it did hurt me very badly.

After all this, I still foresee a bright future with him, I still imagine he would get back to me,he would feel sorry one day for what he had done, he would tell me, he realized that it was love and he would never let me go. After all it was a true love for me.

I started writing whatever I felt at that moment and saved them in drafts folder with out hitting send button, I know, even if I send it, I would get message delivery failure.

My phone started ringing and I noticed it was 7 A.M already and I spent whole night with out sleep. I picked it up and it was Neha, she has been calling me from yesterday, but I wanted some time for myself to think, to come over things. I didnot wanted to bother her much so I picked it this time and she insisted me to come to office.

I went for a shower, cried some more under water, gathered strength to attend office, freshed up and was lying on bed, that's when Neha entered and greeted me with flowers, wowww!! flowers, I would have jumped around if she had got it in normal days, but now, nothing attracted me. I just gave a week smile at her and said a thanks.

She was disappointed with my response.I could see it in her eyes, but I could not help it, she silently went in to kitchen and prepared maggie and got it for me, I gave n number of reasons to skip food saying her I already had it, she did not listen to any of it and forced me to eat. I just sat there and silently swallowed the food.

The way to office, it reminded me of Pramod, how we fought very first day, how he felt sorry for being rude with me, how we became friends, how we used to crack jokes and laugh together in the cab and yeah it did put smile on my face, but later I realized it was my past and it may not happen again!!

Finally I was in office and one good thing was none of my colleagues knew about Pramod, he used to be very professional during work hours, so we did not have much time to hang out it in office. I smiled and wished people like nothing happened and I was perfectly alright!I tried my best to act NORMAL.

I was assigned with huge work and I thanked God for diversion, the work too had very short deadline and my lead was quite focused on getting it done and showcase the results to client. I started working on stuff, just in 10 minutes of time, he surrounded me again, not him as a person literally, but him as memory, I just could not bare the thought of him being close to some one else, he was MINE. Then it occurred to me, the messages he used to send me, the bonding he built up with me, he might have  done all such things with so many others and would be doing it now also, this new thoughts took hell out of me, I no longer concentrated on work.

Tears started rolling out again, I just tried hard to move on things. I turned around with Roshan calling me out for tea, I said I got struck up with this work and asked him to carry on, he got to know that there was something wrong and asked me if I was well, I smiled and said yeah I am alright, its just little cold. He asked me to take care and left.

That's when I got a call and picked it up, it was courier boy again, this time I got irritated and scolded him and said, I will not pick it up and it was from an unknown source to me.

He said its our duty to deliver it mam, and requested me to pick it up. I sighed, went down and picked it, the courier was even more big than usual and had letter, chocolates and some box. I was very angry and just dropped it in my cupboard and closed it.

I left the box there and tried to finish off work, which was impossible, I took a partial day off and left office.I never knew I would miss some one very badly!! I got to know that Pramod occupied most of my thoughts and it is not so easy to move on and on the other side I was so optimistic about his realization and he coming back to me.

It so happened, Neha called me and told me that she got to know about today's letter and she brought it to my home again. I was shocked and asked Neha how she got to know about them, she said I had dropped one letter on the floor in hurry and Roshan handled it to Neha, since he knew Neha and me are friends.

I told her it is quite useless to see those letters Neha, it will disturb me more and bring back memories. She insisted on me reading them, so I opened it and started reading

Hey Sweety,

 I know , you might be angry and excited at the same time to know about this unknown sender. I am sorry if it disturbed you. But I just wanted to start our conversation differently, this is Sanjay, hope you remember me;)

Lots of Love,
Sanjay.

 Hmm, who on earth is this Sanjay? I truly donot know any one named Sanjay,This guy is irritating, how can he call me sweety, love and all...it is just disgusting!!I was saying in unusual hightone and rude way to Neha.


Who is Sanjay, when did they both meet??Can anyone really send such kind of letters to stranger?

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Harika Bojanala:)
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Sunday, 31 August 2014

Chapter11:Broken Trust!!

I felt so relaxed seeing the letter, that I wanted some change in atmosphere and place so that I will have a diversion from my tensions. I called up Sanchit and told him same. He was more than happy to see me again and asked me to come over to Mumbai.

I flew to Mumbai very next day and Sanchit was waiting for me in the airport. Every effort I tried to hide my feelings and tensions failed very badly, I looked pale and dull, Sanchit got to know that very easily, he gave me a light hug and asked me to relax and be cool.

We reached his home and his mom and dad were also there and they treated me just like their daughter. I was overwhelmed by parental care and love after a long time. After Sanchit's mom, insisting me to eat, I had food and Sanchit led me to guest room and asked me to take care and have good sleep for a while.

It took me full 60 minutes to pull Pramod out of my thoughts and lay down for a while.I guess I had slept for half day completely, after waking up I checked for the time and it was 7P.M in the night. I scolded myself for sleeping so long and not spending time with people over there.

Sanchit's mom knocked the door, got in and asked me if I was well, I said sorry aunty, I just slept off and didn't notice time. she was like, 'nothing beti, you take care and kissed on my forehead'. I thanked God for giving me good friends.

I took 10 minutes to fresh up and came out smiling. Sanchit complimented me for my smile and I smiled back at him. Me, aunt and Sanchit sat on the terrace and our chat went on so long that uncle joined us and teased aunt if she was in any plans to serve us food or she will fill our stomach with her words. we all laughed in unison and went down to have food.

After having food Sanchit took me to balcony and we sat on the bean chairs enjoying the cool weather and fresh air. Then he started, Sanjana, I got to know about Pramod, whatever Sameer told you is true, you please don't have any hopes that he will come back to you. Sameer had enquired about him deeply after this incident, we don't want you to get more hurt, whatever happened is enough.

Before he could say anything, I showed him the letter I got today, and told him that Pramod will be back soon. Sanchit started saying and it went on like this, 'the person who had faked everything with you, is quite capable of faking about letters, I think even the previous letter was not sent by Pramod, trust me don't think about him, I mean I know it is not easy, we will find him out and put him before you'.

I was dumbstruck, everyone are saying the same, I could not believe what Sanchit had just said. I simply nodded and said I will try my best.

'I chose perfect friends in my life, I chose perfect career, I chose to go to places I liked, I learnt things on my own, I became independent, did I not chose right person to be with whole of my life? Did I fail in Love?' my thoughts were taunting me.

 Next morning, we went on shopping for aunt, to mall, I was selecting best sarees for her, Sanchit was standing outside saying that he will not involve in ladies shopping, I didn't wanted to disappoint aunt with my problems so I was trying my best to look happy, we both winked at Sanchit and appreciated his smartness for not involving in our shopping, but ultimately he was the one who is going to pay the bill;)

We completed shopping, and Sanchit planned for a movie, I was in no mood to watch movie, I was planning to tell him the same,before I spoke anything aunt said she was tired and we will go to movie latter,  we got in to lift and were about to leave, in the ground floor, I saw a couple holding hands and smiling forgetting whole world, I missed him, very badly, if I had powers to get people before me when I wish, I would have never let him away from me once I held his hand.

My vision blurred when I approached close to the couple, it was Pramod!!! holding a girl's hand and smiling. Tears rolled out of my cheeks, I could not say a word, he still did not notice me, if Sanchit sees Pramod, he would get blood out of him for cheating me, yeah I was wondering how I started believing that he cheated me.

I tried to move out as fast as possible so that Sanchit will not see him, just at the nick of the moment, Sanchit turned around to see some goggles located exactly where Pramod was standing, it all happened, Sanchit could not hold his anger, he directly went and caught hold of Pramod and slapped him, like literally

I dragged him back with all my energy and aunt too helped me, finally Sanchit calmed down, we all moved out of the mall and I said I would speak with Pramod for a while and Sanchit asked me to be careful and left us. Aunt was completely puzzled not knowing what was happening over there.

Finally, we, only me and Pramod were there alone, I was looking at his eyes, the eyes which I believed to have innocence and love for me, the eyes which gave me trust that we would be together forever, but he was looking somewhere down. I expected him to be sorry for me.

Pramod, say something, you at least owe me some explanation for leaving me just like that with out informing me...I was still speaking, it sounded like he did not listen any of my words and he was not paying attention.

After speaking me so much, I got pissed off with the one sided conversation with out a response. I just sat there, then he said something which made me realize how dumb I was to fall for him, how childishly I believed that he loved me. His words were like flow, unusual to the way he acted silent and calm before me

Nithya, Hey sorry Sanjana...I still laugh thinking how you believed my story about Nithya, I still wonder how easily I deceived you, how easily you trusted me, and yeah to tell you, you were the first girl who fell for me in just few days, so sweet of you, and Thank you for everything.

His smile no longer remained natural, everything was built up, his move, his smile, his talks, his chats, his words, his identity, not even a minute, he was real.

But I still wondered about letters, I innocently asked him about the letters, he rudely said, he never sent them, it was as much new to him too, as it was to me when I told him about letters, but he used the situation and created a scenario that it was him. I cried and finally asked him, what if I go and complaint to police about him and the way he is cheating women,he recklessly asked me to do whatever I wanted and he doesn't care. I finally bid a goodbye to him and thanked him for teaching a lesson in my life and I would never contact him.

Strangely I did not get angry on him, it was hard for me to believe whatever I experienced few minutes before,  I see Sanchit fighting with Pramod, aunt holding him back and Pramod leaving the place and finally disappear from my eyesight.

He just disappeared from me but not from my heart , every wonderful minute I spent with him passed through my mind, the way I used to share with him every small incident that gave us happiness, every problem I used to hide just because he would get sad seeing me dull.

We reached home and I just went inside the room and started crying till all the pain moves out, Sanchit took time to explain things to aunt, that's when she said at least they should have checked about Pramod once I told them, Sanchit was like, we did not expect him to be like that Mom, he looks so innocent, no one would even get doubt on him.She finally sighed and said you kids have to let us know things before taking life decisions.

She was 100% correct, I took time to talk to my brother, to tell him every god damn thing but did not have guts to tell him about Pramod. Finally I paid for everything, its me who have to suffer now. I just wept and rested on her lap. I can never forget the support Sanchit's mom had given me that minute.

Suddenly I acted brave, I told Sanchit, I am matured enough to handle things and I would resume my work and will leave the next day and asked him to book tickets for me. He was surprised by my reaction but booked the tickets, provided, that he too joined me till Banglore.

We finally reached Banglore, Sanchit stayed with me for a day along with Neha and Sameer. Then I insisted, they resume their work back and I would be normal soon. They left my place half heartedly.

Now, things were clear, Pramod cheated me, I should overcome the rough phase of my life and move on, I told to myself. For a moment,I thought it was easy and everything is going to be fine.



Is it going to be so easy like Sanjana thought?
How did she move on?

Follow me next week...

Harika Bojanala:)
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Thursday, 21 August 2014

Chapter10: Expected happened!!

I lay there staring in to nothing, memorising every minute I spent with him, the wonderful time we had together, it was so perfect, I can never ever think that Pramod is not the one, who he was with me.

Never knew when I slept off, it was a wonderful dream and yeah it was me and Pramod doing something romantic.I smiled myself after waking up from the sleep, I logged  in to Gmail to send him my dream, wording my cutest dreams to Pramod is one of my best time I ever spend, when I start to write a mail/letter to him, I think more about him, I try to recollect every moment of my life with him, the mail went on something like this

Sweet heart,  will you listen to my dream?? I know you would be ever ready:)

We were playing around for a while using code languages, you suddenly got this urge to kiss me and you started sending signals to me which I never understood. Then finally you gave up thought of explaining me what you wanted and that is when I made faces and reached you, kissed you so innocently! We both were so happy that we have connection through hearts rather than anything else in the world.

Lots of Love,
Sanjana

I finished typing and hit send button. I was so excited about his reply. Holding my excitement, I got up from my bed to fresh up.

After having breakfast and foaming tea with elachi, I refreshed the web page to check for his reply, I had one new mail but it was some

MESSAGE FAILED TO DELIVER

I opened it and saw the notification was for Pramod's email. Slowly everything striked in my mind...whatever Sameer had told me. For a while I forgot everything and I emailed to him as if nothing happened and I behaved so damn NORMAL when my life is completely screwed up.

But this emails, phone calls will not break my trust, I still believe Pramod is somewhere finding means to reach me.I believe in Love and the trust I have for Pramod is irreplaceable.

He will reach you Sanjana, don't worry, I told to myself, I boosted my spirits up and reached office. Neha tried consoling me, to her surprise, I was so normal that she could not say any word, but she was happy seeing me strong.

I forced myself for diversion and concentrated on work, then again I got a call from an unknown number and I picked it up, it was from some courier service, I was so happy this time and sped fast  to pick it up.

It was the same gift wrapper which I got earlier and a beautiful letter and yeah new collection of chocolates packed in a heart shaped box.

I opened it to see what Pramod has sent this time.

Can't wait to see you angel!!

Lots of Love,


I felt relieved and happy at same time. This made sure Pramod is some where around and he will reach me soon

what next??

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Harika Bojanala:)
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Friday, 15 August 2014

Chapter9: Is Love blind??

To my extreme disappointment, Pramod's room was closed. I checked with house owner and he said Pramod vacated the room and left in hurry and he didn't even inform him where he was going.

Later I tried reaching him again, through phone, it said not reachable now. All these series of incidents led me to shock. Neha calmed me down and we both went back to my apartment.

I was worried if some of his friends or family might be not well and he may be in remote area where his phone can not be reached. He was never irresponsible, so I thought this might be some emergency case and he could not reach me by anyway. I made 1000 prayers to god that Pramod and his family should be well.

If something like this happens you wish to meet them so much than ever and you miss them like hell. I waited till afternoon for his word, but I heard none from him, then I became restless, tears started pouring in. Neha was also upset and informed Sameer about Pramod. He reached my home in a while.

Then it occurred to me, I didn't know any of his details, his friends names, numbers, I just knew that his family consisted of him,mom and dad and no siblings. He just said his place was far from Bangalore and strangely I never went in to details, I was so blindly in Love with him. The only person I knew about his friend was Nithya and she too was not in touch with him.

I remembered his mention about his colleague once, and immediately we started to office and I got in touch with him and heard some words which should have never reached me.

Pramod resigned in office long back and it became quite obvious to people that he will be leaving since there was a meeting, and yeah the before day was his last working day and he never had any relationship with any of team member unless if it is work.

That was big shock to me, I still was wondering why didn't he tell me anything? what were his plans?

It were all questions in my brain that were running, Did Nithya come back to his life? Even if she comes, why didn't he tell me,he knew that I will be the happiest person if he meets Nithya, and yeah he said they were just friends.

I didn't have answer for anything, I just wanted to disappear from everyone for a while and stay locked up in my room..I just left the place though Sameer and Neha were saying something.

I was expecting a message from him now or then, I reached my home and my phone beeped, I knew what ever I thought was correct he would tell me everything, but to make me more irritated, it was some promotional message, I just felt like throwing my phone far away with all the strength I had, but it was the only way I was left with to reach him, so I kept it on the table safely and fell on the sofa.

It was about 8 in the night and I was in same position and did not move an inch, Sameer and Neha knocked my door I thought they had some good news to tell, so I moved in hurry and opened the door, and looked at them expectantly

The look they threw at me, their eyes were completely filled with pity for me. I now was wondering if Pramod was well and asked them same. Our conversation went on like this

Sanjana, listen I know it is very hard for you to digest this fact, Pramod is not how you expected him to be and he was never the person he was with you.

I was not ready to listen anything from them, I just wanted them to tell me that he is alive and happy, I asked them same.

Though they were saying something else I irritated them to answer my question and they were like he is pretty much alive and he is smart enough to cheat you.

I felt so much relieved after listening that he was alive and yeah I gave a smile at them and they were like what the hell are you doing Sanjana, can't you understand that he cheated you?

I was not ready to accept anything else they said but I was just listening. My face went completely expressionless may be because of the LOVE I had for him or I was completely blind and fell in love.

Sameer left my home after taking oath from me that I would at least try to come out of all these events and have my food, Neha insisted on she staying with me, but I forced her to leave, I wanted sometime for myself to think about all of this, to really decide if Pramod cheated me or it was just an illusion.

Later in the night after checking my phone I did not receive any message from him..it was 10000th time I was checking my phone waiting for his message.Yeah it was none, there was no Good night message, there was no winking smileys, there were no calls and there was no Pramod

I recalled what Sameer told me before he left,

Pramod, acts very smart, he plays around with so many girls, for every company he works, he finds a girl and make her fall for her, and he is completley selfish and if he finds a better job in other company, he leaves the current job and so the girlfriend, he completely goes clueless and make sure that he leaves the city and gets a new sim and stuff

One worst part is there is no Nithya in his life, and if he goes to next company, he uses your name instead of Nithya but the story remains same everywhere. It was the clue he had given to you how he would leave you if he gets bored of you, just in the story how he mentioned about Nithya.

It was just too much for me to take in a single day and yeah I was still not believing any of the thing Sameer had said, may be some one gave him wrong information about Pramod. My Pramod never cheats me, after all we truly were in Love!!


Did Pramod really cheat Sanjana, or it was just a wrong infromation.

Follow me...next week

Harika Bojanala
Go Green...Save trees











Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Chapter8: Love-Confused-Letter:)

The new rule created more LOVE between us. Though it was tough to manage, I enjoyed storing whole of my day's incidents and sharing with him in the nights over phone. Our conversations were endless.

Pramod showered my life with happiness,sprinkled it with joy. That wonderful time we had spent together was irreplaceable. During one of our conversations I asked him why he loved me, I still feel it was just a magic and how it happened to us  was completely clueless.

Pramod didn't answer my question for long time. I was wondering what he was thinking.Later he changed the topic and we slept off in the late night.

The very next day, I was seriously working on an issue and I got a call from an unknown number. I picked up the call hesitantly. The guy in the call said Madam you have a courier. I was surprised and rechecked with him if it was me he was looking for. He asked me if I was Sanjana, I said Yes and he asked me to pick up the parcel.

I went down and picked it up. It was beautifully gift wrapped and truly, I just fell for the color and the way it was packed. I expected it to be Pramod's plan and a smile escaped from my face unknowingly.
I carefully took out the wrapper and opened the box and a letter enclosed in it.

I started reading the letter, here it goes

'LOVE'- Until I met you, it was just like any other English word in my life. Now you made me experience it, feel it and fill my heart with pleasure.

I just want to say how much I love you through my words inscribed,

No one else made me forget whole world just for one person like how you did,

No one else made me feel so special and great

I can bear any pain just to see you smiling Sanjana.

Your's everloving,


I was so happy seeing the letter, I immediately wanted to meet Pramod. But I was little confused, there was no mention of his name anywhere and when I asked the courier guy about sender, he said he didn knew it.

I tried reaching Pramod, but he cut the call. I thought it was a part of his plan and he would meet me directly. But nothing as such happened.

I reread the letter so many times. How much ever we are advanced technologically, hand written letters always hold special place in heart. That letter simply stole my heart, and yeah the other box had all my favourite chocolates collection:)

I had one chocolate, inspite of watching out my diet;)

I held other chocolates in store to share with Pramod;)

I was overwhelmed and could not hold my excitement to share that minute with Pramod, I called him again, he cut the call even the second time. I felt bad. But I thought someone else was holding his phone for any other reason and not picking up.

Since I had no option, I waited for him to  call back. In the evening when I was about to leave office, he called me. I was like flood of questions, what happened to you Pramod, why did not you pick the call? Are you fine?

Pramod was like, did you call me?

Me: Yeah, I called you twice

Pramod: I was rushing in to meeting and my colleague was playing game and I forgot to pick it from him, he didnot even mention me that you had called me.

Me: Okay, you are fine right, That's enough:)

Pramod: So sweet of you, by the way, my sweety missed me so much I guess..is it?

Me: Yeah,if you keep sending me such awesome gifts, I would definitely miss you:)

Pramod: Gift, which gift???

Me: Stop kidding Pramod...I got your letter:)

Pramod: Ohh!!I thought I would play around for some more time.

Me: Very smart!

Pramod: You know that:)

Me: So you wantedly missed name on it and teased me.

Pramod: That was the plan:))

Me: Okay, let's meet now??

Pramod: Yeah

We went to restaurant near by. It was my turn to give him a surprise. So I planned a candle light dinner for him. we had splendid time and Pramod loved the place and Thanked me for everything. I kissed him on forehead and told him how much I loved the letter. He just smiled- his- natural-cutest- smile .

We bid Goodbyes after reaching our home, Pramod was watching me till I got inside and even after that:)(I just checked if he was around, from my balcony)

My day starts with his warm Good morning message and ends with his Sweet dreams and a winking smiley message.

The next morning I checked my mobile, but there was no message from him, I thought he might be sleeping, so I wished him Goood Morning with hearts. OMG! this hearts in whatsapp, they convey loads of emotions...I just love them. But some how Pramod doesnot use them much, So I too stopped using them,its when sometimes I feel like telling him so many things and can not tell I use them(Hidden emotions)

There was no response till afternoon. I called him to check of he was well, no one received the call, after a while, I got tensed and started to his room, Neha stopped me in between and asked me why I was looking tesned, I told her all and she said she would join me, we both reached Pramod's room.


What next? why did not he pick her call? was he ill?


Follow me next week:)

Harika Bojanala
Go green...Save trees








Friday, 25 July 2014

Chapter7: And, the journey continued:))

Everyone just lied down in the hall not saying a word, I made them rest in proper position, spread blankets. I opened my mobile to wish Pramod Good night. Just then I got a call from him. I was so happy when his name flashed on mobile.

God!!we are made for each other...is what I thought when I saw his smiling pic flash on my mobile. I received the call, Hey someone is missing me soo much I guess, I was pulling his leg,

Pramod: Yeah, so much that I could not hold on a second with out seeing you. I am right before your home. Just come out now!!

Me: Pramod, you kidding right?

Pramod: No Sweety, am serious.

Me: I will be out in a minute(blush)

Even at the last minute I took an effort to look beautiful, I did not wanted to disappointment him. I glanced myself in mirror,made my hair perfect and left in a hurry.

He was there, waiting for me in the cold, shivering. I was moved by his actions, I felt happy and sad at the same time. Some times actions speak more than words. So, I just hugged him and we did not know how long we spent in each other arms.

Sanjana, I love you, he whispered in my ears. I love you too sweet heart,I replied back , our words were flowing in equal emotions.

It was the first time, I saw the night part of my life being awake for so long, still sounding good and filling heart with happiness.

Added to that, there was another surprise,for each of us, from both of us:)

Pramod closed my eyes from behind and led me little forward and he handled me something..I could make out that it was a key. I could not with stand my excitement, Pramod, what is it, I am curious..is it a bike? I was surprised at my voice...I was literally shouting.

He took his hand out of my sight and made me open my eyes slowly. Oh!my God it was a maroon awesome swift with a ribbon showing a brand new look.

For a moment, I was in cloud9 ,it was Pramod's first car and he shared the best moment of his life with me, just the thought of it gets me goosebumps

yeah!our celebrations did not end there, we went for the ride at 3 A.M (call it a day or extended night;))  The feeling of owning a first car, always remains as a sweet memory to everyone. I was glad that I made Pramod's time more special.

We crossed the same roads for years, when it was busy, when everything was open, when people walked on it, traveled on it, with various causes, various tasks and works. But for the first time Pramod made me witness darker part of the night, yet, beautifully. We just raced on the streets with high speed..it felt like a rocket:)

I had bought a secret gift to Pramod in Coorg and planned to gift him at special moment of our life. The time, he called me that he was waiting outside my home, I could not resist gifting him and  picked the 'gift' . So I opened the box of home made chocolates and bottle of 'wine', I got to know that Pramod loves wine. The one which I had bought was old which tastes heaven, as per what I heard from the seller. I handled both of them to him. He was so happy to see that he opened it immediately and thanked me for wonderful gift at perfect minute.

We sat on the top of the car, tasted the wine and yeah! it really did taste awesome.
Spending amazing time, we were back to home at 5 A.M.

If I was awake whole night with any other reason, my eyes would have become small, I used to look  dull but that day, the next morning I was so enthusiastic in the office that every one asked me what was the reason. I just smiled and said nothing to anyone except Neha.

I was so happy and shared it to my gang in whats app about Pramod's new car and every one congratulated him.

 Pramod was back to office and we met for lunch. He told me Sanchit and Sameer called him and congratulated him and they all had conference call for a while. I was happy and surprised at the same time. My friends are the best, I registered it again in my head.


We parted after lunch physically to our respective projects, but emotionally we were attached. We did chat in what'sapp later and forced ourselves and made rule that we should concentrate on work during office hours.

It was quite tough, not to talk to each other for 8 hours, but we sticked to it.


What did this rule do to Pramod and Sanjana???

Check it out...next week.

I am sorry guys, I could not post the story for last 2 weeks due to some personal important works.

Harika Bojanala:)
Go Green...Save trees








Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Chapter6: Never ending Journey!!!

Oh my God!!I jumped around and danced with happiness...words were just not enough to express my feelings at that moment.I was still wishing and hoping that was all real. If so many things are dancing around your head, usually you can not sleep, same thing happened with me.

Finally I decided to celebrate this moment with Pramod next day morning in a big way and forced myself to sleep. Whoa!he did not leave me in dreams too.

Next morning...my lips got widened and it turned out to be a beautiful smile. Yeah and the reason for that was Pramod's message, which, he has sent me around 3A.M. That made clear, even he was awake late night and could not sleep and the message  was

Good Morning Angel...I wish, a day soon comes where I can wish you every morning for real, and wake you up with a warm kiss on forehead:)

Those words made my day. I was too happy to hide anything from my best buddies. So I wanted to tell them, like everything, the ride and how he proposed me and how we both are in love.

I dragged every one of them to hall but before I could speak anything, they all shouted at a time...├ŁOU ARE IN LOVE...I was surprised...I gave a puzzled look at Neha...she smiled at me. I was expecting a reply from them. Then Neha started clearing it...Darling! your words were endless yesterday night, you kept on speaking and you described almost everything to me.

But I was clueless...I slept at 2.30 A.M and I remember Neha was not beside me at that time....they were busy partying...then came the answer..I spoke everything in sleep....I have this habit of speaking in sleep, but most of the times , my voice wont be clear and people can't understand whole of the thing. Yesterday I was so clear in explaining, that for a while even she got confused, if I was awake or talking in sleep.

However it is! what ever I wanted to say was already conveyed...they all hugged me and dragged Pramod from his room..they made us stand together and clicked pics. They all wished us Good luck and later celebrated the moment with a cake in the evening. Sameer took turn of big brother of me and warned Pramod to take good care of me;)...Pramod like a kid replied 'yes,bro I will take care of her,like a princess'.

It is always good to see your friends standing for you at any situation and it made me feel how lucky I was to have all of them. After teasing us for a while, they left us.

It was around evening 5 P.M, we reached "Irpu water Falls". The way to falls gets closed by 4.30 and we got to know only after reaching there. These guys went and requested the guards over there to let us in,promising we will be back before it gets dark. But they did not accept. We were really disappointed. Nisha...initiated this, girls...who can say 'NO', if pretty girls like us ask anything, come lets target this and clear the gate.

We all winked at the guys and asked them to see what happens. We just made innocent faces and requested the guards over there to allow us...they smiled at us and allowed all of us, just like that...
Pramod, Sanchit and Sameer were standing there with their mouths wide open and we signalled them to follow us:)

It took 15 minutes to reach the falls, before which there were steps(kind of trecking) and a delicate bridge which can carry few people at a time extended for a short distance, which was built with extreme care, few temples in middle.

We clicked lots of picks in between, on the bridge, near temples, on the steps and jumping, running and what not, everything!Finally the falls...it felt so good to see God's wonderful creations after a little gap in our trips.

It was a small falls,but we have been there in perfect time...since the flow was less...we were allowed near and we could actually stand under the fall and feel the divine flow of pure water running from a hill top. It was an awesome experience altogether and most of it, Pramod was around.

After long day every one of us were exhausted! I was resting my head on Pramod's shoulder and all of us were tired enough and were dozed off. Only Sanchit was awake and was driving. We reached farm house, rested for a while. and later every one were busy finding things to go out and no one were interested in calling me. In 15 minutes every one left bidding bye to me and Pramod.They wished us to have nice time and left.

So Mr. Pramod, our friends want us to be alone...I winked at him

Yeah! actually true friends...he added to my words.

What now, I asked him expecting something interesting from him.

He made a blank face, so he was also not aware of this welcomed loneliness and we both were glad that we had time for ourselves. We moved little closer and sat on the sofa and held hand in hand. Before he could say anything...I wanted to tell him everything I had planned yesterday night being awake till 2.30 A.M and the feelings I have suppressed from long time.

Initially when  I first met you, I was angry, angry like hell on you...

The same day, when you said Sorry, I was happy...I least expected a sorry from you...you were rude...

The very next day, when I got to know that most of our tastes matches I felt magical, and your tatoo that made me go crazy...it's an amazing one

Day by day....I was attracted to you, I was trying to impress you....I wanted your attention.

I was happy when you started pinging me on whatsapp.

I was moved by your feeling for a best friend and the fact that you are waiting for her to come back to your life, built up trust on you.

I was little hesitant when you said about Nithya , but am saying it with whole heart, you can call me by any name if it give you happiness:)

Most of all I love you...a lot

I was feeling shy and was looking down...Pramod held my chin up and started speaking... I am just lucky to have you Sanjana...I was puzzled.

Yeah you may be surprised, the day I proposed you, I realized that I was madly in love with you and I cant call you by best friends name...though you relate me of her, this feeling I never had it with her. you are unique,my only love for entire life and looked in to my eyes.

That kiss was so special...I initiated it in my complete sense. Soon we wanted to speak...speak and end the day with only words...that loneliness, to say, truly was gifted by my friends and those moments helped us to grow stronger and we were bonded emotionally.

In an hour or so our gang was back and they were throwing "Hope you had good time kind of looks at us''. We both felt shy and moved little apart.

We were all set to leave that night from Coorg, though we did not roam much that memories lasted for a life time to me and Pramod. After dinner we got in to the car, me and Pramod were sitting together and everyone dozed off after 2 hours of journey and talking.

We were running out of time and our words were endless. To our disappointment we reached Pramod's house in another 2 hours and I never thought leaving a person, just for a night and when you know that you can meet him again, the very next morning will cause so much pain. I was just feeling sad that he has to get down and go home. While he was getting down  I held his hand tight not allowing to go, Pramod too was faking that he was trying to leave but he was holding my hand even more tight.

Just then I thought it would be awkward if Sanchit catches this, So I let him leave. Sanchit too, got down to bid him Goodbye since he will be travelling to Mumbai in few hours and he cant meet him until our next trip.They both hugged each other and Sanchit said something to him in a low voice and Pramod was smiling for that. I could not hear what it was.

Later Sanchit told me I can be with him for a while since he was tired of driving. I was more than happy....I escorted Pramod to his home and assured him that he was in safe hands;)

Sanchit asked me to get in....I got inside but sat beside Sanchit and was looking in the mirror to get view of Pramod until he gets in... Just then, I was just thinking of the whole day and was smiling...just then Pramod too turned around and was staring at the front part of the vehicle, to see me....we saw each other and smiled at same time...that was the best smile I had ever experienced.
That was so sweet, so expectant but accidental!!!


After a long day travelling...what did Pramod and Sanjana do after reaching their homes...Love is so beautiful.

Follow me next week

Harika Bojanala:)

Go Green...Save Trees








































Thursday, 3 July 2014

Chapter5 :Roller Coaster ride

We were just walking, talking to each other...after getting tired, we realized that we walked far from farm house...We rested on a bench there.

Pramod handled me bottle of water, I grabbed it and started drinking it with out a pause,
"Oh!!easy,easy Nithya drink slowly" he was teasing me.

Then it again occurred to me, why he is calling me Nithya...you know, you really feel strange when your identity is completely changed just because of a stranger and just with days friendship!!

This time I was little serious and decided to get things clarified...I started speaking, Pramod I really want to know the reason, now be clear and tell me the truth.

Umm,okay...I know, this may seem out of blue to you, when I say that, you resemble exactly to my best friend Nithya... I mean not the look, it is the way you speak, the way you get angry at small things and the way you cool down fast and start making friends, though its opposite people's fault just like in my case...Me and Nithya became best friends like this with a small fight..just like us!!

I was extremely serious person and was never leading a normal life like all the people of our age...If I had continued the way I used to live...we can call it just sustain instead of live...I would have missed so many precious moments in my life...that was the point, when I met Nithya...with a small fight because of my rudeness...and you know I didn't even apologize her for my rudeness...but God has planned a right person at right time in my life and that was Nithya...my life can be treated like, before and after Nithya

Slowly day by day, I started hanging out with her, we used to go to movies, we used to play games, dance, party, pubs and what not, we tried almost every different thing that attracted us...But we were always best friends and never felt the feeling of love between us.

One day I had booked tickets for newly released movie and tried reaching her through phone...it said not reachable...I thought she might be somewhere signal was weak. But soon I realized that it was not signal problem or something...then I checked in her hostel and her roommates said she checked out, and left that day morning in hurry.

From the very next day, her phone was switched off...there is not even a single minute, I forgot her and not spent searching for her...she never came back...she just disappeared from my life...and suddenly I got an email from her saying 'I am safe in U.S, if you really consider me as your best friend, don't try to contact me by any means..I will get back to you in few years'....I really wonder whether she has sent the mail or some one used her account and sent it...or if at all, she had really sent it...why is she saying this to me...everything is a mess here..I can only pray to God, wishing that she would get back to me.

I was way too shocked to respond to it....I just took his hands in to mine and consoled him...Pramod looked at me and said...I could not explain all this to you over phone, so that day I just said I felt your name might be Nithya! I am sorry if it disturbs you...I will call you Sanjana.

"Just a name will not change your identity Sanjana, you can allow him to call you Nithya" I said to myself...and aloud unknowingly...Pramod hugged me and thanked me for letting him to call me as he wishes.

I was still in a confusion, but, if this gives happiness to someone so much that, he can relate his best friend in me, I was okay with it...I felt so strange, how I changed my decision just in 5 minutes.

It was already late, Sanchit and  Neha came searching for us...we were also on the way and we all met at a point. Hey Sanju, weather is so good here know, Sanchit asked me...I said a plain yes..I was still worrying about Pramod and Nithya.

They got to know that I was not in good mood. They tried to get me back to normal state...my best buddies, they don't irritate me with questions when I am not in good mood...they will understand.We all reached farm house and Sameer was still sleeping as usual...it requires high voltage of energy for him to wake up early in the morning. This morning 's voltage, was trip to Coorg....but it suddenly drops off, like power cut, as soon as his mission is accomplished. So as soon as we reached Coorg...he was the first person to doze...we all have this fun in waking him up

We initially try numerous methods to wake him up...when everything fails, we will finally throw bucket of water on him:)

This time, he was fortunate enough to wake up with loud music and Sanchit hitting him for fun.
Soon he was up, and he started hurrying us to get ready, this is Sameer...who never changes

Guys!!listen, there is an exhibition near by...we have to rush now, Nisha was screaming with all excitement spread over her. We joined in enthusiasm with her. Myself, Neha and Nisha took complete 1 hour to look ravishing.

I was just trying to impress Pramod, I guess...he had once told me black was his favorite color. I dressed up myself in a black Capri and awesome combo of gray and white shirt..matching to it, was a silver color earrings and dim shaded chain but a silver pendent highlighting it. I had left my hair open, eyes lined with kajal and mascara, lips colored with semi pink lip gloss  added perfectness to my attire.

You know, a girl will never be satisfied unless she gets compliment from the one she is expecting, same thing happened to me. I was just waiting for Pramod to see me and give his natural smile and compliment me. But he was busy speaking to Sanchit and Sameer. These guys became friends so fast.

We did not wanted to take vehicle since the place was near by...rather we all ran for a distance holding hands together.Believe me running with your best friends holding hands all together will be a best memory in one's life and it holds a special place in your heart(You can also try that;)). After reaching the place, we just, remembered our childhood.

I was so excited that, I did not know I was sharing my childhood memories with Pramod...me and my brother used to fight like hell, for every goddamn thing, but when we wanted something we used to be best friends...we reach our dad silently and I used to make innocent face like I didn't know anything, but my brother used to pull me to put our wish forward. Dad always used to laugh at us and our innocence and took us out and bought what ever we asked for. Mom besides, used to scold my dad for buying us everything we asked for, with out thinking. Finally she too joins us in our 'child' excitement to explore the newly bought toys. What a wonderful time it was. Pramod patted my back and was listening to me interestingly. Hey sorry, I could not with stand my excitement after seeing this place..childhood was the best time I ever had in my life...sorry if it bored you.
.
No, No...I was happy to listen from you, the bonding you have with your family is simply amazing...Dont you miss them now? Pramod asked me.

Yeah,I miss them, like very badly...I rarely get a chance to visit home and the journey of 14 hours  to reach my home makes me exhausted. He just held my hand and calmed me down.I was so happy, that he was actually paying attention to my words.

 Exhibition...One thing that fascinates and attracts everyone is rides...but I am damn scary with the rides and also have a fantasy with it..I always dreamt of getting in to the roller coaster holding my guy's hand tight and rest my head on his shoulder...I had made a promise that I would never get in to a roller coaster until I meet the so called guy in my head.

All my friends know this,I mean not exactly the story behind it but I am scared of the rides and would never step in...that was the little secret I had kept to myself:)

Every one were busy stepping in..that's when Pramod signaled me to join him, Hey,she is sacred of this rides man...Sanchit replied to Pramod. Pramod was disappointed like hell...I could see it in his eyes...he did not utter a word later...he joined my friends calmly, they had a good ride and came back.
Later we roamed all over and were back to farm house by 7 in the night.

Pramod still didn't speak a word to me..he was not angry, but he was sad...I thought I should not have disappointed him so much. Later , when no one were around, he reached me and asked me 'will you come for a ride?...I promise, you will not be scared, it will be a best memory.

No one approached me like Pramod....I was moved by his words...I said an 'yes' little scary and little excited. Me and Pramod had to give 1000 reasons to our gang, to escape from them, especially,we together and with no one else.

Not bad, Mr.Pramod you are smart enough to lie...I was pulling his leg,he just lied that, he have a very bad stomach pain and want to be treated immediately and wanted my help, though my friends didnot believe any of it and they were pulling our legs too.

Soon we were at the same place which we visited morning, but this time, Pramod was speaking much and I was just listening to his every word.

It just happened like how I planned in my head around 10 years back...he held my hand and we both sat in seat, good enough,  only for two of us. I was all scared with my eyes shut, when it was about to start...Pramod whispered in my ears "you look amazing, thanks for wearing black...you are just adorable and just open your eyes...here it is for you...and he handed over a beautiful iPod to me and it is not empty...it has huge collection of music and most of them are my favorites which I heard in an infinite loop in my playlist...my eyes were moist but with happiness...I just hugged him and said Thank you...yeah the ride started...but I was in safe hands so I was no more scary, I just held his hands tight and we were making ooooo waaaa sounds:)

Later we had roadside food which felt very tasty. We reached farm at around 10 P.M. Everything was set over there and it was a bonfire...they were all in hype...everyone were dancing, drinking and laughing...we too joined them...but my eyes were searching him and he was already staring at me!

We missed each other inspite of being near...it never happened to me before...earlier I used to be first one to initiate this.Now, I just wanted to be with him, speaking to him and wondering, what magic does his eyes and smile to me.

We just slipped away from them...we were all alone inside...Pramod reached me and asked me If I liked the gift? I said, I loved it and thanked him again for such a wonderful time. He wished me Good night and we both got in to our respective rooms.

I just could not let that night pass...When I was about to message him...it was he...

Pramod: This is the best day in my life!

Me: Rather it should be a best night...I had disappointed you badly morning..

Pramod: If you had accepted it in the first place, may be, this night would have been different.

Me(not knowing what to say) : True

Me: you deserve a treat:)

Pramod: Anytime...I would be more than happy

Me: Awe!!That's cute:)

Pramod: Am always cute;)

Me: Yeah! I can see it;)

Pramod: :)

Me: Good Night:)

Pramod: So soon??

Me: Actually no, I don't want this night to end:)

I don't get a reply from him for next 10 minutes...I was scared...did I speak too much? God! what to do now...when I was about to message him again he is there knocking my door asking for permission to get in....I opened the door wide and let him in.

He just sat beside me and I don't know who initiated it, it was our first 'kiss' and it lasted for 60 seconds. we parted apart and I was in a trans...it was he who started to move out...before he left he turned around and kissed on my forehead and whispered 'I LOVE YOU'

I was still in cloud9. I was wondering whatever happened today was true? I think no one, would kiss first and express their LOVE. Though, I still have to tell him how much I loved him.


How did Sanjana express her feelings?

Follow me, next week:)

Harika Bojanala

Go Green...Save Trees